: 10/13 My software engineering professor has died. Hardly anyone has had as much influence on me. He …
: 10/12 People getting angry at my writing should give me more trust in it.
: 10/11 Link has been meowing at the top of his lungs, but also from the back of his throat, for many …
: 10/10 I will now have to write 25 postcards a day for the next 10 days to finish my assignment. It …
: 10/9 We have the fine sensors for each other that couples have, and we notice it when something’s in …
: 10/8 At the dentist, the assistant took a kind of light pen, or more like a light spoon, or a light …
: 10/7 Building an application larger than any I’ve built with AI before. It doesn’t matter that I …
: 10/6 Back in Newburgh. Some notes about this trip. We had an unusually long morning in Gothenburg, …
: 10/5 It may have been a quieter-than-usual weekend, but nobody seems to have minded much. Drove the …
: 10/4 Watched a movie in the morning. Played a game of magic. Went to Bastard Burger in the evening, …
: 10/3 The mood is good, but I’m feeling helpless because I can’t come up with anything for us to do. …
: 10/2 Flew to Sweden overnight. The red-eye mornings into which these flights inevitably turn are so …
: 10/1 My dad is now using a walker to get around; they sent some pictures. I went on my first run …
: 9/30 Monday was my first swim in four weeks, after the shoulder injury. I had been very worried …
: 9/29 Essay class: “Cheap tricks are always intentional.” “All we have is tinkering.”
: 9/28 Wondering about the nature of consciousness and the existence of free will used to be a pretty …
: 9/27 I, too, now have a stately assortment of medications sitting on the table in front of me, among …
: 9/26 Woodstock Symphony: Beethoven, Bizet. I spent much of the time trying to think something about …
: 9/25 That monster truck, an F-250 Super Duty, is parked across from our house again, in that spot …
: 9/24 It may be worth documenting that my customers are all healthcare companies now, and a hundred …
: 9/23 As I drive J to her orchestra rehearsal in Rhinebeck, the electronic message board on the …
: 9/22 When I do an editing round with AI, we spar. – Oh, thanks for catching that. – No, I don’t …
: 9/21 The football field of the high school is full of boys wearing gold helmets that glint in the …
: 9/20 With great satisfaction, killed a few darlings. With the chord patterns I’m practicing, it …
: 9/19 The amount and the quality of the writing that AI has pointed me to in recent months makes me …
: 9/18 The worlds of this Small Town and Manhattan are incommensurate. I cannot make any combined …
: 9/17 I have never had much contact with professional writers, and I’m surprised how meticulously …
: 9/16 Evening at Beso’s on the bank of the Hudson. The lights on the bridge come on, under a grey …
: 9/15 So, Bishop Gregory: Why does he do what he’s doing? Out of a simple desire for novelty, to do …
: 9/14 First essay class. Funny – similar to the moment I first got in touch with philosophy, and …
: 9/13 I spend my time in this utterly incomprehensible place learning music.
: 9/12 Personal essay class, reading list. A French bishop, in the 6th century, writing down things …
: 9/11 Have I written this down somewhere over the past 25 years? I probably have, but even if I have, …
: 9/10 I got my new sleep med, which my neurologist prescribed to me and convinced my insurance to …
: 9/9 I cut the hedge over the weekend. There are all sorts of weeds in it. Some of them seem to grow …
: 9/8 And, again, a shoulder injury. Last year it was the left one, this year the right one. Both …
: 9/7 Theory of the diary as a literary form. Aspects that make a diary genuinely difficult to do, and …
: 9/6 I wanted to write something about our Black neighbors in our majority-Black neighborhood, but …
: 9/5 Write forward, not backward. Write for yourself, not for the audience. Damn, it’s so easy to …
: 9/4 Always that moment when a book has drawn you in convincingly, and you look up from it and tell …
: 9/3 Oh the subtleties of how the world, and in this case AI, sees you. I needed a link to “The …
: 9/2 Over the last few days, workers came and sprayed all sorts of markings onto the street in front …
: 9/1 Video call with my son. I blundered through the usual, boring questions – how was school, who is …
: 8/31 Night shift to move over to the new site. At some point, the ball just gets rolling. I am a …
: 8/30 I sometimes worry whether the seizure meds are slowing me down and chipping away at my …
: 8/29 I’m as excited about AI as if we were making contact with an alien lifeform, and it’s about as …
: 8/28 I’m worried I may be demolishing the neighborhood, purely by my decision to leave it. First the …
: 8/27 I don’t ask myself if it’s already summer, but I do ask myself if it’s already fall. On the …
: 8/26 The “efficiency” that I gain through AI needs to be qualified. Some things simply get a little …
: 8/25 When I brought up prenatal diagnostics, and how embryos could be selected depending on whether …
: 8/24 I looked it up and I’m not imagining things. In Europe, it used to be, and to some extent still …
: 8/23 Yes, I’m reading books, but most of them are really extended opinion pieces. The number of …
: 8/22 How the kids laughed when they saw me doomscrolling the New York Times. It must have looked to …
: 8/21 Fasten your seat belts. I had the AI help me with the design of my blog, and when it looked at …
: 8/20 I’m reading the first account of someone refusing to work with AI at their job.
: 8/19 My numbers came back. They are better than expected. In fact, they are just fine. At my age, …
: 8/18 Medical check-up. Bloodwork. Each year it’s a guessing game between the moment the needle …
: 8/17 It was only yesterday that I read Plato’s Apology for the first time. I had simply never gotten …
: 8/16 It’s been several months since our renovation and J is finally putting up her art on the walls …
: 8/15 I will note dutifully that for the first time, AI made a genuine joke in one of our …
: 8/14 I would never be able to go to a writers’ retreat, because rather than sitting at a table with …
: 8/13 Unusual confidence in writing. I would be able to write about anything I choose. The projects …
: 8/12 The screaming about AI is getting deafening.
: 8/11 Back in Newburgh. As I took my seat on the AMS – JFK flight, I saw the guy next to me pour …
: 8/10 I should write down this thing from Cedar Point. The children wanted to know if I still …
: 8/9 Very questionable with what justification I’m even writing that date. This is not a day, it’s …
: 8/8 Flying the kids back to Sweden. I actually like these ridiculously short intercontinental trips …
: 8/7 We were hoping to go to the Baylander tonight, on our final night in town. Heavy thunderstorms …
: 8/6 Finally figured out how to rent three Citibikes together. Took them up the river side – it was …
: 8/5 A few coaster thoughts. It becomes more and more clear that I like vast coasters that stretch …
: 8/4 Another half day at Cedar Point in a very different mood: refinement. Then back to Pittsburgh.
: 8/3 Full day at Cedar Point, 10am to 10pm. Coaster Manhattan. Got my horizon widened by some …
: 8/2 Drove to Cedar Point. But we didn’t go into the park yet, that will be tomorrow and Tuesday. It …
: 8/1 Played pool with my son in that gigantic lobby of the apartment complex. I have vivid memories …
: 7/31 Pittsburgh. When we were at home still, the kids researched that this business park was built …
: 7/30 That eight-hour drive after a rough night for the family and little sleep – almost no sleep at …
: 7/29 Family squall. Also an eight-hour drive to Pittsburgh.
: 7/28 Interestingly, I have never gotten any hostile responses to anything I said online. Until now, …
: 7/27 My son builds spaceflight trajectories and varies their parameters, moves them around in 3D – …
: 7/26 I was baffled by Knausgaard because I thought he simply did what every writer would do unless …
: 7/25 The neighbors are having one of their improvised parties with 12 additional cars parked around …
: 7/24 Today didn’t start well. I had searched for other running routes around here and found Lake …
: 7/23 Drove to the dark spot in the Catskills which I had been wanting to do for months. We left at …
: 7/22 Ran across the Newburgh-Beacon-Bridge with my daughter, which she absolutely hated. Too …
: 7/21 Today was literally my first waterpark. Slides only scary before you try them for the first …
: 7/20 My daughter used her new Claude subscription fearlessly to let the AI read her 50,000 word …
: 7/19 Death Of A Salesman on Broadway. Saw gestures and facial expressions in Nathan Lane’s acting …
: 7/18 People defending themselves against AI by pointing out what it does badly. I’m excited about …
: 7/17 Baylander evening. If you can’t be silly, how you gonna be smart. It’s much of a ritual at this …
: 7/16 The sun is a faint orange ball in the sky, more than what you’d see through normal clouds, less …
: 7/15 The kids are getting subscriptions from us for some quality AI (okay, Claude) so they can have …
: 7/14 As the heat will make it impossible to do just about anything in the city – no run in the …
: 7/13 First run along the Hudson with my daughter, in the morning at 6.30. We had to pause and fall …
: 7/12 I am literally frightened when I see my daughter operate TikTok at a speed easily 4 times …
: 7/11 Gothenburg. My body made only very limited use of the lay-flat suite in Delta One. Got maybe an …
: 7/10 Finally learned how to use my Global Upgrade Certificates and landed in Delta One. This funny …
: 7/9 Reading the essay to the group last night – and I read only the first page of it – was a big …
: 7/8 I don’t feel at home on any of the platforms anymore. I want to be on all of them.
: 7/7 They used to say: 30 years, 40 years ago, and it meant nothing to me. Now I say: 30 years, 40 …
: 7/6 Back into Manhattan in rain, first thing I note is the elevated noise due to cars driving on wet …
: 7/5 July 4 concert at Boscobel. All weather models indicated that it would rain close to the end of …
: 7/4 Going to America was, in my case, a project of one-and-a-half decades. I started making the …
: 7/3 Now that computers can talk like humans, and officially pass the Turing test, it turns out they …
: 7/2 It’s up to 103 degrees. Do not want to leave the car in the sun. The plexiglass top is showing …
: 7/1 I now have two laptops with English keyboards, and I feel strangely liberated, even though I …
: 6/30 Back in Manhattan for a doctor’s appointment, routine EEG. I should note that I was indeed, for …
: 6/29 M tells me she’s glad to hear I didn’t write the document she’s found under my name, because it …
: 6/28 The idea that someone should write about something in order to have “an effect” on it seems …
: 6/27 If only we had someone like Susan Sontag, writing about AI the way she did about photography. …
: 6/26 I need to have separate laptops for company and personal use from now on – should have done …
: 6/25 I do not want to write anything critical about AI, because those who reject AI would feel …
: 6/24 Rather than “What can I do that no computer could”, I want to know “What can I do with a …
: 6/23 The only question I should ask myself is: Did I focus on / did I commit myself to / did I …
: 6/22 A few months ago I would still wonder whether AI would be able to program something. That is no …
: 6/21 The deeper I think about something – and that something is preferably myself –, the more my two …
: 6/20 A boy pushes his bike up the street in front of our house. I’m in the front yard winding up the …
: 6/19 Hours and hours. As if something was lingering for the opportunity.
: 6/17 Have to develop a piece of software by Monday, and for days I’ve been doing it all in my head.
: 6/16 When it comes to learning, there was a lot that went wrong for me. I understood so many things …
: 6/15 I’m learning so slowly, I can’t imagine this is a reasonable speed, but so I’m told. Which, …
: 6/14 Sign draft: HAPPY 250th, AMERICA! GET WELL SOON!
: 6/13 Graduation concert at the music school in New Brunswick. The muteness of musical achievements: …
: 6/12 Videos from Sweden, graduation ceremony. My son as an emcee with the top hat he got for our …
: 6/11 Drove into Manhattan on this warm summer evening, could smell the trash on the George …
: 6/10 Reading Stanislaw Lem and it’s like being reminded of the complexity of the world.
: 6/9 That there are quiet mornings around here. I get up before six, after having been awake since …
: 6/8 An administration can collapse from one moment to the next, and then it seems incredible that it …
: 6/7 Tarkovsky, Stalker. J’s music had reminded me of it, and I really wanted to watch it with her, …
: 6/6 How can you live a meaningful life without spending all Saturday getting everything halfway back …
: 6/5 Did I write this chord app with AI, or did AI write it for me? Either way, the goal of playing …
: 6/4 Sign for the next protest: I CAME HERE FROM GERMANY BUT NOT FOR THIS.
: 6/3 Baylander evening. When your wife, with her strong opinions, tells you that one of your main …
: 6/2 Chris agrees with my AI that my first and foremost goal should be to see the scales on the keys …
: 6/1 Stefan Zweig, Die Welt von Gestern. I was surprised that, when I tried to buy it, I found it …
: 5/31 In last daylight I took a walk around Downing Park, something I rarely do. Alongside Robinson …
: 5/30 The scales are starting to become a landscape, instead of randomly scattered whole and half …
: 5/29 The complexity of the musical concepts I discuss with AI bears no relation to my actual …
: 5/28 Unsure about my goals as a musician. What do I want, and what do I need to get there. What is …
: 5/27 Had a scale drill program created for me. Discussions with Claude on how to memorize scales. …
: 5/26 After our flight across the ocean we got into our Jeeps and drove back to Newburgh, a mild …
: 5/25 Seeing the excellent night of sleep I had yesterday – more than 8 hours – for what it was: an …
: 5/24 I told my daughter I didn’t think I did a very good job telling her what I had been up to. …
: 5/23 When my daughter asked how things had been going in my life, what I had been up to lately, I …
: 5/22 Gothenburg. Around Härlanda Tjärn, first run with my daughter where I was heavily breathing and …
: 5/21 Flying to Sweden tonight.
: 5/20 My son asked, but I do not know when my sleeping troubles started. A random note in my journals …
: 5/19 In the city. Counting steps to the fire hydrant I’m parked next to. It’s five steps. Okay, not …
: 5/18 Another one of these completely unexpected insights with Chris: I need to know the scales and …
: 5/17 There should be a time, and it is probably fast approaching, when the difference between …
: 5/16 Mozart Piano Concerto 20, Mahler 1. It is about as embarrassing to write as it is to experience …
: 5/15 I would like to leave the world a little bigger than I found it. – That is not the point. You …
: 5/14 This girl, for example, who comes up to J in the middle of the concert and says she can’t find …
: 5/13 Second end-of-school concert, this time in Paterson, NJ. It isn’t that these kids are somehow …
: 5/12 The chords I am trying to learn seem so alien to me that I cannot imagine my brain as one that …
: 5/11 When checking Tesseract’s results by comparing them to the raw scans, Claude found words that …
: 5/10 Case in point: I let it write a program that takes two filenames as arguments. Now, rather than …
: 5/9 Telling AI: write me a program to do X, as opposed to just: do X. I would in most cases rather …
: 5/8 Turns out that for working with AI, having done a PhD thesis is immensely useful: the ability to …
: 5/7 Concert in J’s school, first and second graders. Blown away by the beauty of children learning …
: 5/6 In the morning, as I went swimming, I again parked my Jeep next to the other two Jeeps which are …
: 5/5 What are the thoughts, the questions that keep me up at night? Are there any? What about …
: 5/4 And to think that these language models only know the early twenty-first century, because …
: 5/3 As if over night everything turned so green that I no longer recognize the streets along which I …
: 5/2 The ease with which this app got created, compared to the stubbornness of my brain to recognize …
: 5/1 At the beginning of my piano practice I had myself an app generated that shows random chords for …
: 4/30 Voter notification card for November arrived.
: 4/29 Customer shows me the answer of their AI, I show him that of mine, and we follow the links to …
: 4/28 The mental load of just considering a problem, without even doing anything about it. You end up …
: 4/27 First time I used AI to program against some APIs I understood only vaguely. I do know: There …
: 4/26 Anniversary dinner at The Ridge, Highland. One day before the actual date (I mention this for …
: 4/25 Whether the world around us is “real” or “simulated” may not be such a big difference at all. …
: 4/24 The anxious question whether it needs to come to war to end the lunacy of this government is …
: 4/23 General rule: When painting a staircase, every step of the work takes three times longer than …
: 4/22 “Our vision of Paradise is one of being exquisitely cared for. That is the collective dream of …
: 4/21 Okay, painting a staircase is a multi-week project, and it won’t always be multi-week projects …
: 4/20 I’m beginning to realize that the work in this house will simply never stop. A new lamp in the …
: 4/19 Turns out no paint would make it onto the staircase today. I only got to sanding it, and …
: 4/18 I wanted to start painting the staircase today, but then I only got as far as a chat with …
: 4/17 Took the first random complex sound in Ableton, and after I understood how it wants to be …
: 4/16 Somewhat embarrassing lesson with Chris. Even though I had postponed it for weeks, and had …
: 4/15 I have tried repeatedly to let AI do some routine writing for me at my job, like an executive …
: 4/14 First time I lay under the car. First time I bought and used a torque wrench. Towards the end …
: 4/13 I solve the customer’s problems in 30 seconds with AI. Why doesn’t the customer do that? I need …
: 4/12 Nossack who said he had no memory of the years 1933-1939 at all, and I wonder if the muted …
: 4/11 Painted the stairwell. The attempt to place a ladder onto the steps and up into the second …
: 4/10 Watching the Artemis mission’s re-entry and splashdown unfold within minutes, then puzzled by …
: 4/9 How our insignificance in space is matched by our insignificance in time. Samantha Harvey’s …
: 4/8 As of today J and I are not just driving the same car, we’re also running the same software. We …
: 4/7 As I spin the flight path globe on the backrest monitor with the tip of my finger, it occurs to …
: 4/6 Flying back as Artemis passes behind the moon.
: 4/5 Gothenburg, Easter Egg Hunt, professionally organized by J with only a few hours’ notice. Heavy …
: 4/4 Gothenburg. It is always the Saturdays when shame and fear of not doing enough grip me the most. …
: 4/3 Gothenburg. We discuss whether humanity is making any progress at all, and emotions are flying …
: 4/2 EWR – MUC – GOT. My ring says I slept 2 hours and 50 minutes, which would be quite …
: 4/1 Watched the Artemis II launch together. Remembered the unreal brightness of the fire tail of a …
: 3/31 J notices, quite unfailingly, that I’m in a pretty disoriented state. Yes, I say, now that …
: 3/30 The black charging ports of our Jeeps used to be a sign of the future to me, but the sudden …
: 3/29 My signs are always a little too indirect. WE’LL VOTE HIM OUT IF HE LETS US – J likes that a …
: 3/28 No Kings in Newburgh. A few hundred people. Very different vibe than last time: sleepy. …
: 3/27 Crash of surprising thoroughness, hours and hours of sleep.
: 3/26 Moved some of the furniture back to where it is supposed to be. Appreciating the one or two …
: 3/25 Worked until midnight, couldn’t help but get up at six to do final touchups, then remove all …
: 3/24 Living room done. Tomorrow we’ll have a place to live in again. Aware of how this must sound to …
: 3/23 It’s enough of a home stretch to give some relief that it will soon be over and we’ll at least …
: 3/22 Progress is slower than expected. I wanted to finish the ceilings today with a second coat and …
: 3/21 First coat of the ceiling done. Also, Appalachian Spring and Yankee Doodle at the Northern …
: 3/19 Into the city in the morning for work, back to Newburgh in the evening to be with J. That’s …
: 3/17 The construction work in Newburgh is all done, we now need to figure out when and how to paint …
: 3/16 MUC – LHR – JFK. The wing of our British Airways triple-seven is covered in greyish patterns …
: 3/15 Bavaria. It is not that my father’s behavior is always too much for me, and only sometimes too …
: 3/14 Also, birds in the morning. Rarely felt with such clarity how my world is contracting and the …
: 3/13 Hamburg. My son introduces me to one of his girl-friends. Vegan restaurant offering vegan beef. …
: 3/12 Leaving America in bright daylight and arriving in Amsterdam while it is still pitch dark in …
: 3/11 Chris’ answers are so simple that I almost feel stupid paying so much money for them, but that …
: 3/10 What more spectacular news could there be than the warmth of this day, lunch outside on …
: 3/9 Of course we do our part, go to protests and donate money. Heroes however are those in …
: 3/8 Electric Violin Workshop in J’s music school in East Brunswick. The seven kids were eager and …
: 3/7 Jealous for rest. Newburgh in the afternoon. Dinner at The Ridge, Highland. German Pork Goulash, …
: 3/6 There are now two rooms left for living in the house, neither of them has any place to sit down, …
: 3/5 The workers did come today. We left the house to them in the morning – a grey morning with …
: ¾ The workers did not come today. Misunderstanding. They will come tomorrow. Because I had already …
: 3/3 On the same day – in rain and sleet – I registered the car (after searching, in somewhat of a …
: 3/2 After the transatlantic flight in an almost empty Lufthansa Airbus, I drove J into the city …
: 3/1 The persistence with which Claude urges me to consult a human doctor about my back pain is …
: 2/28 My son builds a plane in Minecraft. Watched Melodifestivalen (this is turning completely into …
: 2/27 Gothenburg. Chinese Car. Another plane moving in parallel with us as we approach MUC. Villages …
: 2/26 Jeep logistics. I drive her Jeep into the city so I can park it in the garage, then she drives …
: 2/25 When giving Link pets, I have started to disassemble and reassemble him. He submits to that …
: 2/24 That hateful, gloating, grimacing face is us.
: 2/23 Any single requirement of this week – my work schedule, the trip to Sweden, construction in the …
: 2/22 I’m an AI, not a physiotherapist, says Claude after diagnosing my brachioradialis strain in …
: 2/21 I am considered caring and helpful by my wife, but honestly, I only do the easy things. It is …
: 2/20 Even though it had been one and a half weeks since my last lesson with Chris, I had to admit …
: 2/19 Driving Jeeps together is a bit like dancing. Otherwise, low day. Grey, the snow getting dirty …
: 2/18 The oversized pickup is the flip side of the desire of women for men taller than six feet. …
: 2/17 First strong snowmelt, murmuring water everywhere. Temperatures up to fifty degrees. Most of …
: 2/16 While talking to my son, who has no friends, and is not particularly sad about it, I suddenly …
: 2/15 Two things I have explored with the Jeep so far: One is the boundary between the City of …
: 2/14 Awe, or rather: shock about the borders between urban and rural, because nothing seems to …
: 2/13 For the longest time I thought that my stumble into religious fundamentalism as a teenager was …
: 2/12 Drove into the city to spend a few days here. Mostly to get my hair cut. And because J is in …
: 2/11 Remembering how I used to drive on the Berlin Stadtautobahn in my Volvo, in the evenings, at …
: 2/10 I was about 95% sure she’d be okay with that story of yesterday. She was.
: 2/9 Tonight would have been a great night to use the walkie-talkies again, as we drove home from 21 …
: 2/8 Super Bowl. Finally able to discuss the rules with someone who knows them all, with AI. Finding …
: 2/7 Taking the car for rides to clear my mind. Following the sunset, it will be the coldest night of …
: 2/6 I have not read a book in months.
: 2/5 I will not get to be involved much with the dying of my mother, because it will be all about my …
: 2/4 “I hope I get to see as much of it as possible in my lifetime, and preferably before I retire.”
: 2/3 I realize how my excitement for the Jeep had been reigned in while we had only one of them, and …
: 2/2 Adam Neely’s video essay about AI music. I had expected sharp and careful consideration, and I …
: 2/1 The time has begun during which I move the Jeeps back and forth in front of the house to charge …
: 1/31 Relation of a country’s size to the modes of transportation available during its existence. My …
: 1/30 Handling the winter storm came down to just two decisions: Whether to take the northern route …
: 1/29 Home in Newburgh. Excitedly taking pictures of the two Jeeps together. I will need some time to …
: 1/28 Pittsburgh, visiting N. We first go to ALDI’s and load up the Jeep with more supplies than he …
: 1/27 Columbus, OH. The dates on which I’m writing this are correct, and yet I can find no trace in …
: 1/26 Springfield, MO. Another 300 miles in the day, and then 300 in the dark. The pace with which …
: 1/25 I spent half of this first travel day in the desert, and the other half in the dark. It was so …
: 1/24 Tucumcari, NM, after the first 600 miles. Eerie journey through desert, dark, snow, and cold.
: 1/23 Tuscon. Stayed here to make sure that if there was anything wrong with the car, I would be near …
: 1/22 Got up at four in New York and flew out to Tuscon where I picked up my Jeep at one. Much of my …
: 1/21 J sick and sleeping way past noon, while I am trying to push through the workday after a night …
: 1/20 Just the multitude of worlds I passed through yesterday on my way around the earth should make …
: 1/19 Morning of ice crystals in Gothenburg, street lamps and stray car lights enough to make any of …
: 1/18 Played another terraforming game with just as much fascination, but now also serious …
: 1/17 First time we actually understood the Terraforming Mars game which he’d gotten a year ago and …
: 1/16 Connection in Amsterdam did not work out, ended up with a four-hour layover. For the first time …
: 1/15 On my way to JFK with one-and-a-half mistakes: First I forgot my laptop and had to ask the Uber …
: 1/14 Looks like J can’t come along to Sweden this time, she’s too sick. That would be sad for all of …
: 1/13 Sleepless due to a multitude of Jeep questions.
: 1/12 Of course we need a second car out here, and of course it’s going to be another jeep, and of …
: 1/11 Beethoven 3 in Woodstock. As I think of the line between Mozart and Debussy, J says you don’t …
: 1/10 The concern of being thrown into a sinister police state is giving way to aghastness at the …
: 1/9 Adults may learn slower than children, but they make up for that by being more disciplined. …
: 1/8 Back into the city for less than 48 hours. Moving through the crowds of the rush hour in the …
: 1/7 With increasing distance, David Bowie is sounding more and more like Rainer Maria Rilke, and I …
: 1/6 Very limited energy after these two travel days.
: 1/5 Sunday, 2pm. We arrive at the airport and realize hundreds are stranded in the hall of the …
: ¼ Okay joke’s over. Due to the closures of Caribbean airspace we are stuck on St Thomas with …
: 1/3 I have long been wanting to convert scans of some books that are dear to me into ebooks. But I …
: ½ Enjoy your writing, J said to me this morning, and I was surprised to hear that from her, even …
: 1/1/2026 We did not expect that above the thicket of trees in front of our bungalow, we’d have a …
: 12/31 At this point, the vibe in the country seems to be that this administration has turned out …
: 12/30 While we are moving around naked in the sun, like proto-humans on a primordial tropical beach, …
: 12/29 In some distress because while we are enjoying the warmth and the pool, the remote sensors …
: 12/28 We’re not going anywhere. Not to any of the pristine beaches supposed to be a stone’s throw …
: 12/27 We were invited to a concert at the weed shop tonight, and we gladly skipped it.
: 12/26 The weed shop, or let’s say: the weed oasis in the village three minutes from here invited J …
: 12/25 Our bungalow and private pool breathes so much of the sixties in which it was built, and in …
: 12/24 St. Thomas. Got up before five and took an Uber through a city with traffic patterns that felt …
: 12/23 It is the first time in my life I am moving into a smaller town, come to think of it.
: 12/22 Changed my residence address in several places, for example the company, for example the bank. …
: 12/20 My son in Germany makes the remarkable suggestion that the new word for “google” could simply …
: 12/19 I have lost 6 pounds in 4 months, and another 7 pounds to go where I want to be. Though this …
: 12/18 I got a year-in-review from my ring and it clearly shows a deterioration in all sorts of …
: 12/17 It is about time that we replace “to google” with a catchier version of “to chat with AI”. …
: 12/16 AIs and languages: If you’ve seen one of them, you’ve seen them all.
: 12/15 First workshop of the Electric Violin Labs. Forty-five participants. Very seasoned, very …
: 12/14 I need a teacher not in order to learn things. The learning I must do myself. I need a teacher …
: 12/13 Current history of Claude chats, on the left of my screen: Guitar synth pitch detection …
: 12/12 My musical Gear Acquisition Syndrome is buying the same things over and over again, for …
: 12/11 I talk English without noticing it, it is no effort to me, it is in fact an effort to remember …
: 12/10 First I refreshed my basic editing skills by figuring out again how Loopback works on the …
: 12/9 Fell into an Ableton rabbit hole.
: 12/8 Catastrophic sleep, and yet a day on which I was mildly more productive than usual.
: 12/7 While J and I discuss electric violins, I understand the concept of amplification literally for …
: 12/6 Defensive Driving Class. The course is 95 Dollars, my lawyer had told me. If it doesn’t cost 95 …
: 12/5 Fifty-one minutes of practice, until I was so stunned with what I could play that I happily …
: 12/4 When the music is fun, practicing becomes harder: You need to actively find the things that are …
: 12/3 I accepted the deal from Georgia, and cancelled my flight. We also watched a few episodes of …
: 12/2 News from Georgia. The prosecution offers me a deal where the charge is reduced to driving with …
: 12/1 A text is good if it allowed the author to solve a problem that he could solve in no other way …
: 11/30 Drove back to Newburgh. For the last two hours, I got into the zone and could drive pretty …
: 11/29 Went to the Sports Bar and to ALDI with N, we don’t need anything more of Pittsburgh. Pool …
: 11/28 Eeriest sight on Thanksgiving afternoon, as I ran a few last errands: the fast-food …
: 11/27 Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh, in N’s spaceship, the Southpointe business park.
: 11/26 That I didn’t accept music’s no, or writing’s no, sounds more serene than it was. I banged …
: 11/25 I now have a court date in Atlanta, and it looks like my lawyer is not able to prevent me from …
: 11/24 I gave up music in order to become a writer. I felt music was holding me back in a life I had …
: 11/23 Rosendale Theatre, Redemption Time. A film that Chris had vaguely called a documentary about …
: 11/22 Woodstock Symphony – There’s a man in the audience in a complex wheelchair, body crooked and …
: 11/21 Maiden Voyage, some very unexpected progress.
: 11/20 What if I get so lost in the music that I lose the count? – Chris: Count.
: 11/19 I get repeatedly drawn to pieces of clothing or jewelry, and when I put them on and look at …
: 11/18 I’m quite late to the party, but I programmed more seriously with AI for the first time. A lot …
: 11/17 Played Maiden Voyage against a rocky-funky backing track, literally for hours. I don’t know …
: 11/16 Packed up the gazebo in the backyard on what was a windy, but surprisingly sunny day. We …
: 11/15 Schleiermacher, feeling of utter dependence. What if you don’t have that feeling?
: 11/14 Weirdest, scariest thing happened to me as I brought something – the metal mount of our A/C …
: 11/13 Spent the day in Manhattan rather than going back to Newburgh. That’s making less and less …
: 11/12 Called my mom, and unusual is perhaps only the speediness with which my dad hands over the …
: 11/11 One of the first effects of listening to more complex music seems to be that I notice how …
: 11/10 You’d think that ten fingers on a keyboard should be a finite thing to understand.
: 11/9 It was remarkably silent in our home all day. It is so silent I hesitate to even put on …
: 11/8 Herbie Hancock has all these groovy ideas, and yet it seems as if he’s not interested in the …
: 11/7 What’s treacherous about aging is that the effort doesn’t become less. It feels as if you’ve …
: 11/6 Newburgh. It is an unexpected effect of our marriage that I get unusually thorough and …
: 11/5 Went running. A truly spectacular evening sky, so spectacular that everywhere people stopped …
: 11/4 One of 266 in my block who voted for the new mayor.
: 11/3 Difficult, devastating good-bye in the morning. During the flight I fell into a rabbit hole and …
: 11/2 Ending the week unexpectedly, but understandably difficult. This situation is untenable. We …
: 11/1 Unexpectedly full and good day. Magic till after midnight.
: 10/31 And now all my three children are back again, all under the same roof. Discussion with my …
: 10/30 Depressingly rainy. J and I crash during different times of the day. We are here for almost a …
: 10/29 Ran around the lake with my daughter. Watched Flow together in the evening.
: 10/28 Gothenburg. Announcements by the German flight crews burst with an enthusiasm I find foreign, …
: 10/27 No one ever knew what it is like to fly through the night with such a tube, because no-one has …
: 10/26 Boring, uninspired Orchestra Broadway Night. Geriartric audience – and even they were not old …
: 10/25 What I’m looking for is not the ability to play jazz standards – not even, as I’ve put it, the …
: 10/24 The doctor sent the exercise plan to me while I was standing next to him in the hallway, from …
: 10/23 Saw a sports doctor on Madison and had my shoulder examined, which has developed a stabbing …
: 10/22 Woke up even before four today and got more work done than on many other days.
: 10/21 Got up at four because my brain was ready to do the work it had been contemplating since …
: 10/20 Outage of Amazon us-east-1. As a result, the cat feeder blinks a red warning light pretty much …
: 10/19 Brahms 2nd at GNSO. Russell calls it an idyll at a time when idyll was not possible anymore, …
: 10/18 Newburgh protest. A few hundred, maybe a thousand. My sign ANYONE CAN BE NEXT, which I’ve had …
: 10/17 Newburgh it is. I carried our signs through the subway and Metro North, and this time I …
: 10/16 Still making up our mind whether for the protest on Saturday, we should join 100,000 people in …
: 10/15 If the arc of humanity is now steady or pointing downward, something must have changed, …
: 10/14 Having an intellectual debate with Claude is like playing chess against a computer. You may …
: 10/13 The middle option, which Claude calls cyclical, is not cyclical. That would suggest some kind …
: 10/12 Discussed with Claude whether we are experiencing (a) a glitch, an accident during humanity’s …
: 10/11 We bought this fully automatic, bean-to-cup coffee maker so that we wouldn’t have to do …
: 10/10 Brought the Jeep to inspection. Rather than waiting in the shop, I got driven home, and later …
: 10/9 I honestly don’t know what I’m more afraid of: That he gets the Nobel Peace Prize, or that he …
: 10/8 Chris says I shouldn’t learn one new jazz standard per week, but four.
: 10/7 We were absolutely not prepared for the sudden shift in perspective, in reality, of being all …
: 10/6 We are unusually numb, insecure.
: 10/5 Back from Pittsburgh. The final hour of the six-hour drive, in the dark, felt very much like a …
: 10/4 N’s new neighborhood, as we drove into the area in our U-Haul on Friday afternoon, appeared to …
: 10/3 Got to Pittsburgh by about noon. Unloaded.
: 10/2 In everyday situations where I cannot hide behind a professional facade, such as picking up a …
: 10/1 When asked what he wants for his birthday, my son says he’s wondered about a VR headset, but …
: 9/30 Getting ready to help N move to Pittsburgh. Our weekend project.
: 9/29 The evening sky tonight has inverted rolling waves of pink cloud crests in front of a light …
: 9/28 If Anyone Builds It, Everyone Dies: “We don’t have the faintest idea what a generalized AI …
: 9/27 I am told I really should tell this story: How I raised, maybe ten years old, frogspawn in my …
: 9/26 M ignores the agenda of his talk and says that in 2-3 years our jobs will be eliminated, since …
: 9/25 Offsite in Chicago. NB how some call an offsite an onsite, which is of course appropriate since …
: 9/24 A difference is that unlike in former times, when there were a few brave individuals who kept …
: 9/23 The roadtest area in Middletown is only recognizable as a line of cars waiting next to the curb …
: 9/22 Practiced parallel parking maybe a hundred times. Slowly getting better, slowly building the …
: 9/21 I should spend much more time and energy on my writing, make these entries count, capture …
: 9/20 How bad can it actually get? How bad would the installation of a full-out autocratic regime be? …
: 9/19 My driving test, which I had to cancel due to Vermont, is now on Tuesday, finally. I spend much …
: 9/18 Lessons with Chris: I explain what I’m doing and pay attention to when he raises his eyebrows. …
: 9/17 Conference at Javits. The floors are 100 feet high. What actual purpose is there in them being …
: 9/16 When I said on the 14th that humanity will die, I didn’t say anything about the time, for …
: 9/15 What does a civil war actually look like? Your probability of dying is slightly elevated …
: 9/14 We will need to understand that, as a species, we are going to die. Not coming to terms with it …
: 9/13 Discussed with Stuttgart: one suggestion to define the start of the Anthropocene is to take the …
: 9/12 I should tell this gym story that has been disturbing me for months, simply because I don’t …
: 9/11 These entirely different displays of masculinity in the countryside. Gorillas at the gym. A …
: 9/10 J’s mother survived the surgery of which we thought it might kill her with a probability of …
: 9/9 First you refuse to age, to decline, in any dimension. As a matter of fact, you believe you …
: 9/8 As I come back above Eastern New York on an almost perfectly southbound course, thirty-six …
: 9/7 Spent most of the weekend playing Magic. Increasing sophistication. My older son can’t help but …
: 9/6 Update: He did text me when he took off for his final segment.
: 9/5 I talked to my son about his flights to Sweden once – about two weeks ago. Today is the day. I …
: 9/4 Sitting among the rich people in the airline lounge. I am one of them. The flight attendant …
: 9/3 J’s place is here. This story with her mother is so unique and so important that there’s really …
: 9/2 Now it’s all waiting for hints whether J can fly to Sweden with me on Thursday. It’s all booked, …
: 9/1 Second day alone. Another run on the bridge, back and forth, my third altogether. It is nothing …
: 8/31 Rented a car and drove back to Newburgh to take care of Link. It is the first day I spend all …
: 8/30 A large gathering around the bed, and the patient’s alive as ever. The same usual family talk. …
: 8/29 The health of J’s mom has declined rapidly, so we made the decision last night to drive the …
: 8/28 How bad does it have to get before everyone realizes this was a wrong turn, and an entire …
: 8/27 Hard to grasp how life does not come to a complete halt. You’d think all the scientists would …
: 8/26 It’s exactly like when I started college forty years ago. There are those who throw paper …
: 8/25 It’s the week before classes start at Columbia, and judging from what’s going on in my …
: 8/24 Bolton says that the verdict of history about Trump will be devastating. That assumes that in …
: 8/23 Mysteriously tired. I could sleep all day. Chatting with Claude whether that might be caused by …
: 8/22 Seeing J, on the map, come up the I-95, while I look out the window into the evening sky over …
: 8/21 Strangest of evenings. The sun had set behind the buildings on the New Jersey waterfront, …
: 8/20 In the lesson with Chris I remembered how J recently said I was playing a piece really well. – …
: 8/19 The woman in the row in front of me on the train had a far-carrying alto voice and I was lucky …
: 8/18 I’d love to use weight loss drugs to tackle those 10 or 20 pounds that separate me from the …
: 8/17 Even though it is still a month from now, Link realizes N is leaving. This must be so …
: 8/16 More troops of the National Guard deployed to Washington. From conservative states. There is …
: 8/15 A country loses all the numbers. No jobs report, no inflation, no approval ratings, and of …
: 8/14 Musical discovery: The Lydian Collective. For the first time in forever, I don’t want to listen …
: 8/13 Looking up from the screen and realizing the window is covered with raindrops. Some of them …
: 8/12 I’d rather not know how fast a six- or ten-year-old could learn these things on the piano that …
: 8/11 More horror news every day. I feel numb to them. When this is over, that will have to be …
: 8/10 And into the city, where we meet J’s ex-husband and his mother, who is on the path of …
: 8/9 Back to Newburgh. I had slept terribly and was not able to contribute much driving, and for a …
: 8/8 The community N found to start his new life in Pittsburgh is wonderful. A spaceship, loosely …
: 8/7 Seven hour drive to Pittsburgh.
: 8/6 Chris: Rabbit holes only ten minutes a day.
: 8/5 Asked what I’m working on, I say I feel silenced. Not by any particular threat, just by the …
: 8/4 Removed the Google Feed from my phone. Switching to it has become an automatic, mindless gesture …
: 8/3 No matter how much Germany learned from its past, the Third Reich remains a mysterious, almost …
: 8/2 I got myself a badly running nose, probably on one of the many airplanes. So bad that my entire …
: 8/1 We seem to operate under the assumption that a country is what its leaders do. The population is …
: 7/31 Clapton/Winwood: Forever Man. I like the song, but I look at my wife, and we agree that it …
: 7/30 Changes. I can feel them coming. They always frighten me when they come, and I have always been …
: 7/28 Gothenburg. Fell asleep again after breakfast, for about three hours. That makes a lot of …
: 7/27 On the leg from AMS to GOT, a woman who is traveling with three kids, the youngest barely a …
: 7/26 And bringing the kids back to Sweden. Having the coolest step mom in the world and having to …
: 7/25 Back at the Baylander for our final evening. Air humid, although the rain that defused the heat …
: 7/24 Back in New York. A police officer in Georgia was of the opinion that I do not have a valid …
: 7/23 Carowinds. Four hours driving back and forth. Fury 325 was a long-time bucket list item for my …
: 7/22 Lots of sleep, lots of doing nothing to recover from yesterday’s park day, and prepare for …
: 7/21 Six Flags Over Georgia. I now quickly reach the state in which I can submit entirely to each …
: 7/20 Atlanta. Even though our flight did not leave until 5, and took till 8 in the evening, it was a …
: 7/19 We did not take the pictures to document what was happening. Taking the pictures was what was …
: 7/18 We’ve moved our return to the city to tomorrow, so we can have one more evening in the backyard …
: 7/17 After Jurassic Park Rebirth last night, what we chose out of the hundreds of halls in the …
: 7/16 It’s boys’ night out and girls’ night out. Son and I go watch Jurassic Park Rebirth in Beacon. …
: 7/15 Rick Beato says that AI music is bad music because a) the person prompting the AI is not doing …
: 7/14 My daughter, on the other hand, wrote a piece about her encounter with Niagara Falls, unusual …
: 7/13 This second morning all the planning worked out. Got to an almost empty parking lot at 8.30, …
: 7/12 To the Falls in the morning, although we didn’t manage to leave early enough to buck the …
: 7/11 Children suddenly struck by sleeping sickness. Without warning, they stay in bed until noon. …
: 7/10 Heavy bout of depression. We can handle that, we can handle anything. Some days, all we can do, …
: 7/9 What are we doing today? – First question from the kids after waking up. We are going to another …
: 7/8 Finally published: An Open Letter from Closed Minds: Authors Against AI. Apart from the fact …
: 7/7 Slowly moving from spectacular vacation events into regular family life, as much as we can get …
: 7/6 I could have sat outside on the patio, in the backyard, inside the gazebo for hours, possibly …
: 7/5 Bought a guitar for my daughter, and she practices with it for three hours; there is hardly any …
: 7/4 Boscobel, Dvorak’s New World in a clear line of sight with West Point Academy, the audience …
: 7/3 Addendum. When we got here, the immigration procedure was entirely facial recognition and …
: 7/2 Hamilton with the kids. I just hope it lingers on in their memories, and having taken them to …
: 7/1 Removed Facebook from my phone. I am certainly not deleting my account, and I do feel sad and …
: 6/30 The certainty with which my children classify me as a boomer by far exceeds the certainty with …
: 6/29 Hayden Planetarium, Encounters in the Milky Way. The projections are world-class and stunning. …
: 6/28 First day together in Manhattan. A bit overwhelmed, a bit in crisis about being four people in …
: 6/26 On one of the flights I can look out the window and see all the other passengers coming up the …
: 6/25 So that was the first election in my new country where the result is what I myself had hoped, …
: 6/24 Voted in the New York City primary. Before I realized that the voting process is the same as in …
: 6/23 Left the Mountain Top before six so we would reach Newburgh before ten so I could do my …
: 6/22 In the center of Vermont, roughly, on a mountain top (which is what the place is actually …
: 6/21 Wedding in Vermont, war in Iran.
: 6/20 Ben Folds in Tarrytown. Story of the crying burglar. At the pool this morning. Clearly …
: 6/19 Juneteenth. In New York it feels like Sunday, and a quiet one at that. J has a regular workday …
: 6/18 Carefully maneuvering towards sleep.
: 6/17 The damage to America lies only halfway in the actions of this president, the other half is …
: 6/16 Playing jazz standards half drunk after dinner, before going to bed.
: 6/15 Watching footage of the parade, seeking signs of disobedience and disdain in the soldiers, …
: 6/14 Bryant to Madison Square. Definitely remarkable about these protests is the good vibes of …
: 6/12 Shepard Tone: a siren that always seems to be going up. (Nate Silver)
: 6/11 Getting ready for the protest on Saturday. Zeroing in on a sign. My usual catastrophic thinking …
: 6/10 The most important role of Chris is to call me back when I want to learn five things at once – …
: 6/9 How the worst, when it has finally arrived, is no longer the worst. Something else has taken its …
: 6/8 Took me a long time to make it as short as this: The Three Revolutions of Publishing.
: 6/7 Greater Newburgh Symphony: Conductor conducting the listening of the audience.
: 6/6 Playing the piece slowly – painfully slowly – made all the difference. Brain doing some …
: 6/5 Neighbor woman in Newburgh, who I see for the first time, examines the patch of grass between …
: 6/4 Manhattan. As I walk through Grand Central I think for a brief moment whether I should stop, …
: 6/3 I don’t want to move into the future and remain halfway in the past. That I needed to retain my …
: 6/2 First time a duck sat on the Jeep as I came out of the gym in the morning. A red velociraptor …
: 6/1 Seeing the enormous confidence of my son and wondering whether that is the social progress we …
: 5/31 Link who, in all his life, never leaves the upper floor of the house, and barely comes down the …
: 5/30 AI will never be able to do X, because it can’t do Y, which is how we do X. – We usually have …
: 5/29 It would not be in style to plug in the car early, while there is still daylight. By now I will …
: 5/28 At about 2.40am a truck honks on Broadway, right in the center of a solemn gathering of …
: 5/27 It’s been a few days since J’s phone suddenly had a thick, blindingly bright vertical line on …
: 5/26 We may want to have human readers, but we won’t get them. We may not like to be read by AI, but …
: 5/25 When people write about AI, you can only discern whether they’re for or against it, everything …
: 5/24 Philosophers Circle, Metzinger, consciousness-of-consciousness, not representing anything at …
: 5/23 A night of unbelievably good sleep followed by a night of sleep that is so frighteningly poor …
: 5/22 Discussed mathematics. How the imaginary number is not any more imaginary than the number zero. …
: 5/21 Ever increasing feeling of inadequacy in my job, and ever increasing authority being bestowed …
: 5/20 That feeling during practice that it shouldn’t be this hard. Surely, nobody has ever been this …
: 5/19 What shall we actually do in those billions of years ahead of us? In retrospect it seems …
: 5/18 Worked in the yard all day to mount the charging station for the car on a pole which we …
: 5/17 On advice from Chris I play Yesterday. It sounds a little cheesy at first, a little too well …
: 5/16 What others – even I myself – may consider the most spectacular turn of my life – that I moved …
: 5/15 A whole lot of the reasons why one could want to write – which are all present in everyone who …
: 5/14 Writing as participation in an information processing system.
: 5/13 At Dagon in the early evening, just for a Cappuccino. Two glasses of Prosecco got added to it, …
: 5/12 I should not leave this unsaid about my first lesson with Chris: How I had set up my phone as a …
: 5/11 Sleeping naked together is so profound. You’d think this is a discovery on the scale of a new …
: 5/10 Just by chance I discovered that Gemini has access to all my writing, and I can talk to it …
: 5/9 Brought the car to its first New York State inspection. Being fifty-five and doing this for the …
: 5/8 Connected the charger. Respect for heavy currents.
: 5/7 Electrician came to install the outside socket to which we will hook up the car charger. I’m …
: 5/6 Lesson with Chris. Realizing that I don’t need to learn anything before I can play. An insight …
: 5/5 The utter unreality of a sunny but cold schoolday starting in Gothenburg, then a flight around a …
: 5/4 Slept unbelievably well this weekend, and the only explanation is that I went completely without …
: 5/3 Got detailed commentary on a mission in KSP, particularly how to establish trajectories and …
: 5/2 Daughter opposes my wrong understanding of a rule in Magic with expected fervor, we need to call …
: 5/1 Shopping with my daughter in a weirdly empty Gothenburg the morning, a run to the lake with my …
: 4/30 Gothenburg, weirdest Walpurgis ritual. By the hundreds, the Swedes gather around a fire by the …
: 4/29 To Sweden, upgrade to business class. Where people cough who have not been raised to cover …
: 4/28 Woman on the subway shuttle from Grand Central to 42nd, texting and laughing – as intense as if …
: 4/27 J makes an album of our wedding pictures, I wish I knew just a little more how to deal with …
: 4/26 First year of our marriage ending. It occurs to me only now that while to me, our marriage …
: 4/25 I fell asleep on the train, and when I woke up, I saw the sign of Beacon outside, wondering for …
: 4/24 In the end, the interim ring arrived about one hour before the replacement ring, and that only …
: 4/23 My oura ring broke. More precisely, it stopped sending data some time around 4 yesterday and …
: 4/22 Basically every time you press the gas pedal the percentage of the battery goes down. The range …
: 4/21 Uneventful work day. Silent errands with the electric Jeep. Another doctor visit. No time for …
: 4/20 Good sleep, although only in the morning hours and then until noon. Running and gym, took the …
: 4/19 Second march from Bryant Park, this time to Central Park South. Almost nobody is masking up, …
: 4/18 Again facing the question whether to protest anonymously or show my face, and the decision …
: 4/17 Jetlag without a jetlag. I have already gotten up at four, after having slept only till two, I …
: 4/16 Montreal. Snow flakes and freezing cold after those few spring days in New York. Gave two …
: 4/15 Flight to Montreal in the evening, with some 1.5 hours delay at the gate, because a part which …
: 4/14 At the doctor’s in Newburgh, some ear infection. It’s a bungalow, crowded with as many staff as …
: 4/13 We’re in that zone where money can indeed buy some happiness. Car dealer: pushy and confusing …
: 4/11 Slept terribly, continuously awake after two until I went swimming at seven. Halfway …
: 4/10 In the bend of the river you can see the oncoming train in its entire length, a chain of …
: 4/9 Bought the car today. Well, negotiated the price. Hands trembling, I have rarely ever dealt with …
: 4/8 Went to a different restaurant for dinner, because one of our usual places has closed and moved …
: 4/7 Something has fallen on us, placed itself over us, buried us, it seems somehow wrong to be …
: 4/6 With J at McNally Jackson. Rather than looking for books, I walked through the aisles and tried …
: 4/5 At the rally from Bryant to Madison Square in intermittent, drizzling rain. Feelings of …
: 4/4 Back in Manhattan for the protest. Taking one political action every day, a kind of political …
: 4/3 Dinner at Beso’s. White sky, warm. Asymmetry of the bridge. Talked about how I feel so …
: 4/2 Back in Newburgh. Of all the few people J knows who might help her, I guess I’m the most silent. …
: 4/1 From Newburgh into Manhattan. Turns out the Yankees are playing, and so the train fills with …
: 3/31 Learning how to buy a car. The multi-dimensional decisions wreck me. We’ll have fun with it …
: 3/30 Wrote my first violin part.
: 3/29 Both reading in bed at night, J with a lamp since she’s reading a paper book. She’s worried it …
: 3/28 No payday loans in this family.
: 3/27 I consider myself novelty-seeking, even though that appears laughable to others, including my …
: 3/26 DX E-Piano on the piano. Hit the keys hard.
: 3/25 J spent fifteen minutes in a bookstore and comes back with an entire bag of unbelievably good …
: 3/24 Leaving Gothenburg later than usual: 2.35pm, arriving in Manhattan later than usual: 8.20pm …
: 3/23 My son, who explicitly asks for J and me to come into his room and say good night to him …
: 3/22 Difficult day. Sky clear, bright sun, kids are playing Magic, and I’m in panic. J crashed, will …
: 3/21 Always the joy of embarking on a journey together, even though we know it will be gruesome. As …
: 3/19 Worked on some math with my daughter, on her request, via video. An entire page on the tablet …
: 3/18 Not making progress and still exhausted. That’s a heinous combination, rife with self-doubt.
: 3/17 Again exhausted beyond bounds after a failed day, I am standing in a jungle of code and data …
: 3/16 The guy at the weed store walked around to us and looked at me with that beaming gaze of …
: 3/15 artificial intelligence report: no help during coding. wrong solutions put forward with great …
: 3/14 Programmed all day with high intensity. Yet I can describe what the program does in two or …
: 3/13 I have been removed from all other projects so I can work on a critical one. This, I guess, …
: 3/12 Supposed to be immersed in work. Usually this is easier.
: 3/11 It may be catastrophic thinking, but my optimism and my entire worldview have taken a hit, …
: 3/10 And now a student has been arrested for voicing an unwelcome opinion while being on Green Card, …
: 3/9 I am practicing about half an hour per day, which is barely enough to keep me in the Emerald …
: 3/8 My table is a mess, half of it is strewn with debris of daily life, the other half I keep clear …
: 3/7 That took me a while. Valley of Ages, the essay about our hike into the Grand Canyon.
: 3/6 A group of coworkers had invited me to come to the office and give a little talk, show a few …
: 3/5 In the laundry room, after ten at night, the trombone player again, playing against the wall.
: ¾ J and I both need medication to stay calm.
: 3/3 Phone call about the children. Totally wrecked after that. Contact government agencies, get …
: 3/2 Two civil rights groups. Number one: We meet over zoom and oh my god, says the moderator, we’re …
: 3/1 Writing about trees. It seems inappropriate to write about anything else while your country is …
: 2/28 A day as black as a raven. (Zelensky in the Oval Office)
: 2/27 Took ten milligrams of weed, which has frequently helped me to fall asleep and stay asleep, but …
: 2/26 A wall of meetings, for both of us, which we work through from my apartment. Civil rights …
: 2/25 For people who are not famous, and who do not regularly get taken for someone who is, this is …
: 2/24 Back in Manhattan. Mail ballot from Germany got here on Friday. Even though J and I are getting …
: 2/23 Gothenburg. A day of fog and rain, big glassy drops on twigs. We stay inside, each of us adults …
: 2/22 Melodifestivalen, my daughter and a friend make signs to hold up in front of the TV when their …
: 2/21 Gothenburg. Upgraded to business class. Smiling as a service.
: 2/20 Only two hours of sleep, two nights in a row.
: 2/19 So no mail ballot from Germany.
: 2/17 At a rally first time ever. I did make my sign HISTORY 101 although quite unsure whether it was …
: 2/16 My mail ballot from Germany has not arrived yet. This means I cannot send it back using the …
: 2/15 Greater Newburgh Symphony Orchestra: Tchaikovsky, Copeland, Rachmaninov.
: 2/14 What is the moment when what’s in your mind first reaches the outside world and can be used …
: 2/13 That is terrible: that I am not telling you everything anymore. I want to tell you at least …
: 2/12 And already we are in territory about which we will have to answer to our grandchildren. For …
: 2/11 The wallet comes in carbon fiber, black aluminum, or a fake wood finish. I would have scoffed …
: 2/10 People on the Metro North, on a Monday night, traveling into New York just to be in New York, …
: 2/9 First superbowl as an American. Developing the ability to parse the game while not actually …
: 2/8 agent orange and we cannot just pretend that it’s like 1933 and we will have to answer and it …
: 2/7 Getting feds and a robo for my love at the pharmacy, and there’s the man sitting next to the …
: 2/6 Noticeable how in Georgia, nearly all the people who served us were Black. And unlike in …
: 2/5 Bizarre: On the sidewalk in front of the hotel, which in Car-America always seems like an …
: 2/4 The country I joined last summer disintegrates.
: 2/3 Alpharetta is like a pedestrian zone, except for cars.
: 2/2 We’re flying to Atlanta this afternoon so J can spend a few days in the office of her company. I …
: 2/1 Back to Manhattan last night, a journey through rain and fog. A journey on which I passed only a …
: 1/31 I can’t believe how my ribs are proceeding to repair themselves. I’m moving around, I hardly …
: 1/30 Ride the wave of the painkillers, never let it crash.
: 1/28 More knocked out than I wish to admit.
: 1/27 Okay, two broken ribs. X-ray in the emergency room. The fractures are minimally displaced – …
: 1/26 Slipped and fell as I cleaned the bathroom, probably a broken rib. The initial thought, as I …
: 1/25 I’d need a workflow. I copied the essay from the scan page by page, pasted into a document, …
: 1/24 It has been more than ten years since I last looked up Nossack’s Jahrgang 1901, and back then …
: 1/23 It had been too cold for running for the past week, and today, as I ventured out again for the …
: 1/22 I used to hope, and I’ve said it before, that one day extraterrestrials would land on earth and …
: 1/21 Barzini’s had to close because of hygiene violations that are so bad I don’t want to mention …
: 1/20 Back to New York. Because of a short layover in Amsterdam I suggested we check the wheelchair …
: 1/19 The mood inevitably darkening as Sunday night approaches.
: 1/18 Tell-tale signs: My daughter, after carrying a first batch of things into the house, returns, …
: 1/17 Amsterdam. Fog at daybreak. In that dirty grey – and I must note that it was grey, not black, …
: 1/16 Getting ready for the Sweden flight.
: 1/15 Since meeting J I have become more aware of both my strengths and my limitations, my …
: 1/14 The shoplifting battle rages on in the drugstores here on the border between Manhattan and …
: 1/13 Shared workday at J’s place. The intensity, the silence, the sounds of the keyboards. Noticing …
: 1/12 I wore, by my standards, very average attire to the gym here in Newburgh, just a wrestling …
: 1/11 I am lost. I no longer have any coordinate system into which my thoughts fit. I am lost …
: 1/10 Newburgh. First time at the Blu Pointe, where the waiter puts me into my place by offering so …
: 1/9 Got asked for the first time whether I wouldn’t be able – and wouldn’t want to – retire already. …
: 1/8 Canary in a coalmine: A customer was not getting the numbers they expected. This was because the …
: 1/7 I want to do all the new things, voraciously, while keeping track, meticulously, of what I lose, …
: 1/6 It used to be only in Ubers that I wondered what our conversations sound like in the ears of the …
: 1/5 Took my last chance for another run before there will be snow tomorrow.
: ¼ We are at the same geographic latitude as Crete, but it is freezing. Ran half an hour. A police …
: 1/3 Back to New York, after getting up in Heraklion at 5am, four hours layover in Athens, ten hours …
: ½ Archeological Museum Heraklion, Palace of Knossos. There is this one little figurine of a human …
: 1/1/2025 There are reasons why I don’t want to write down what was good or bad about the last year, …
: 12/31 First morning here with a clear sky and just a smattering of fluffy clouds low above the sea …
: 12/30 Went to Chania yesterday. Seems like a square on a chess board, politically, with its layers …
: 12/29 Evaluated our twenty-year bets from 2004. Consensus that I had correctly predicted that (a) …
: 12/28 Dinner in the tavern up on the side of the mountain for the second time. We’re getting our …
: 12/27 The astonishment of waking up healthy for the first time in several days, and immediately …
: 12/26 Day starts with some energy, but even walking the short distance up to the main road exhausts …
: 12/25 Fever in waves. Slept many hours today, woke up in sweat-soaked sheets several times, as the …
: 12/24 This is an entirely different type of jetlag than when, because of the kids, we are forced to …
: 12/23 I am sick. Fortunately there is the clear indication of my body temperature saying that I am …
: 12/22 After a thorough night of sleep, ready to sleep the entire upcoming day. And we do. Not even a …
: 12/21 Twenty-four hours of travel, including four hours of driving across Crete.
: 12/19 It’s again that time of the year when I take out large amounts of cash to put into the holiday …
: 12/18 J and I show up for adjacent appointments at our hair salon, and while I manage to exchange at …
: 12/17 Some discussion of theoretical computer science before going to bed. It took thirty years for …
: 12/16 The slightest glassy crackling in the air as I went out last night for a few seconds. This …
: 12/15 J in severe pain, brought to a hospital here in Newburgh in an ambulance. Spent the day in the …
: 12/14 In a random social situation, it is more likely than not that I will not function. Wonder why …
: 12/13 I want to practice everything all at once.
: 12/12 I guess I’ll start looking into requesting a mail ballot for Germany. Several funny things: It …
: 12/11 Piano recordings, including all the usual errors: forgot to arm the track for recording, and …
: 12/10 That moment when what you called growth becomes so ordinary that it can no longer be called …
: 12/9 Manhunt for the shooter from last week ended. Eyes glued to the news. There is so much ritual …
: 12/8 Mounted a curtain runner to the ceiling in J’s girl cave. Four-hour job. Not easy because the …
: 12/7 I should add that after having been a few hours into the problem, waking up at 4am, endlessly …
: 12/6 Most intense programming day in years. So exhausted, so proud of the solution, even though, …
: 12/5 Eeriest experience during customer introductions: They reminisce how they have heard talks I …
: 12/4 Locksmith shop on ninety-sixth. I’m having my apartment key doubled and I need it to have a …
: 12/3 First run in three weeks, also first run after Thanksgiving. My form deteriorates so quickly it …
: 12/2 Democracy as an unlikely state of affairs that doesn’t usually have a majority of the …
: 12/1 The catastrophe that everybody has been warning about for at least a year has actually …
: 11/30 From That’s not who we are to That’s who we are.
: 11/29 Mysteriously sick, limp.
: 11/28 Thanksgiving with Sauerbraten and Kartoffelklößen.
: 11/27 Among the things I picked up last weekend I found a note I had written to my mother at maybe …
: 11/26 And now, after some 24 hours, it becomes apparent in just how strange of an orbit I have …
: 11/25 With everyone already sitting at the gate, our flight AMS – JFK was cancelled due to a broken …
: 11/24 Grateful for almost eight hours of sleep, even though my watch says they were not particularly …
: 11/23 A lot of anxiety around each step, pivoting around me picking up my boxes from the porch of …
: 11/22 Flying to Sweden over the weekend to get my paintings, which have been in storage in several …
: 11/21 Eye doctor. I get dilating eye drops, but apparently not those that make your eyes flood with …
: 11/20 I grant you that whatever happened to us in the past hundred years can in no way go as deep as …
: 11/19 This urge to reduce myself to bits, and not understanding why it doesn’t work, instead of just …
: 11/18 The realization that this man who is serving me water in this Upper West Side restaurant may …
: 11/17 The Book of Mormon on Broadway. It’s the piece of information that I would have needed at 15, …
: 11/16 I had the feeling that I’m not allowed to say what I think, not because I thought anything …
: 11/15 Weird: a long day of traveling without any time zone change. It wasn’t even that long: we left …
: 11/14 BBQ at the Local Q four minutes from our hotel. J asks what my red line would be, the point at …
: 11/13 Spent one and a half sleepless hours driving on the empty freeways of Atlanta in pouring rain. …
: 11/12 “Live truthfully in imaginary circumstances” – L about theatre in her theatre group.
: 11/11 Atlanta. Reading Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here, a page turner, matching my new requirements on …
: 11/10 Three levels. First, what should the world be like in a thousand years? What’s the utopia we …
: 11/9 It would befit a German immigrant to engage where people are rounded up and deported.
: 11/8 Out with a co-worker from long ago who is visiting New York. He thinks I am smart, marvels at …
: 11/7 Everything breaks into a cacophony of explanations, everybody says what they have always said, …
: 11/6 Devastated, numb. Hangover from a lot of whiskey and an entire bag of sour patch kids. It is a …
: 11/5 Oh damn I didn’t expect this. Big rush of emotion as I walked into a US polling place for the …
: 11/4 Woman on the flight wears a P100 mask and spreads out an aluminum blanket over her seat before …
: 11/3 It was in our very last hour that we took out the telescope, finally clear skies, and watched …
: 11/2 Watched The Wild Robot. Group hug.
: 11/1 In a democracy, if you win an election, you haven’t won anything yet. (I just remembered this …
: 10/31 Halloween. Carved baby pumpkins, which we’d brought from New York, with surgical instruments. …
: 10/30 Jetlag day, tough to get through. Discussed the function of transmission and clutch with my …
: 10/29 Mother in front of the biometric gate, rocking her child by changing the angle that her …
: 10/28 Harari: the suicide of the conservative parties.
: 10/27 Hartford. Some two hours through the dark, the lanes tubes of light, just keeping up with …
: 10/26 Many days of constant traveling. I have lost track of when who of us was in the city or in …
: 10/25 Markus had pointed his iPhone upward and snapped a picture of the clear night sky near Berlin. …
: 10/24 Gave a mini talk at work, as if I had flown to the moon and just came back. I’m good at this. …
: 10/23 Venus, while I’m running, in the clear evening sky, indistinguishable in brightness and color …
: 10/22 You’d think they do basically the same, but it’s more like the opposite: opera seems to freeze …
: 10/21 It’s familiar by now that I can search my photo library for any text that appears on a photo, …
: 10/20 There may not actually be any predictable way to learn my instrument. Only after I’ve learned …
: 10/19 The result of this election is already clear: It’s close to 50% and that may not be …
: 10/18 Random House won’t allow AI to read their books.
: 10/17 The long white candles on the dining room table – five in all, in the brass candle holders …
: 10/16 Went up on the roof for one of my last glimpses of the comet, which is rapidly fading. Having …
: 10/15 Let it be recorded here that each year, when the heating is supposed to come back on in the …
: 10/14 Mailing the packs of postcards in a somewhat clandestine manner, using several public …
: 10/13 I had not at any time any idea what matrimony really meant, and I also would not have been …
: 10/12 This time we saw the comet, from the parking lot of the Newburgh Academy, where helpfully the …
: 10/11 Failed comet attempt. Did see Venus very clearly, but there was a hazy layer of clouds above …
: 10/10 Hamilton powerful. Blown away. Politics for people who have a sincerity problem. I’d actually …
: 10/9 Hamilton on Broadway, including the insanity of the evening rush hour through which the cab …
: 10/8 This piece that had seemed incredibly long to me, so long that it was impossible to form any …
: 10/7 Suggested I’d put on a headset and watch 60 minutes while J does something else. No, she’d …
: 10/6 Spent the hours between four and five taking a walk to the pier and back. And the help of a …
: 10/5 That’s unusual: The huge number of books I’m starting and do not finish. Those I do finish are …
: 10/4 There was a thought I wanted to write about, it would have taken me two or three paragraphs to …
: 10/3 Feeling bad because I continue to ignore the guidelines for report writing.
: 10/2 J practicing violin next door. She’s ramped it up into the hours again, since she’s got …
: 10/1 Not only did I encounter the mailman in the lobby today, I also finally chose to talk to him. …
: 9/30 Done with almost half of my 200 postcards. Which means until October 15, when I’m supposed to …
: 9/29 Compare the time I spend with Hannah Arendt and the time I spend reading every last little bit …
: 9/28 J is very clear what her hymn is: I’m a bitch, I’m a boss. If I were to choose one I’d go with …
: 9/27 Reading Hannah Arendt and realizing I have, not in theory but in fact, been dismissing the …
: 9/26 Regular afternoon run, while the rain had stopped, although I wouldn’t have minded if it had …
: 9/25 I was not willing to believe that handwriting was better for memory retention than typing, …
: 9/24 I am not willing to protect myself from technology. Such as using a deliberately dumb phone to …
: 9/23 Flight back to New York via Frankfurt. One of the most awkward wheelchair handling procedures. …
: 9/22 Getting better even in difficult situations. Learned to launch my son’s space shuttle in KSP, …
: 9/21 At the car rental the attendant – who is always the same each time we come here – asked whether …
: 9/20 I have given stars to all in the family now, and I’m recording it here for durability: Delta …
: 9/18 I should mention that I can never remember what J is like. After the two or three days we spend …
: 9/17 How, without creativity, we are instantly trapped. It doesn’t look like we’re able to get the …
: 9/16 I’m writing the postcards similar to how I talk: with a German accent.
: 9/15 J asks the valid question why I’m doing ear training again, trying to recognize individual …
: 9/14 Concert of opera arias. A woman behind me in the audience sings along with several of them – a …
: 9/13 Newburgh. One of the consequences of going to concerts or to the gym around here: You realize …
: 9/12 I do not want to write about politics. I feel unqualified for it. Yet I wonder what would …
: 9/11 Wrote my second batch of ten postcards. Wondering whether it’s really about feeling good …
: 9/9 Wrote my first postcards. My batch will go to Georgia entirely. I marvel at the names of the …
: 9/8 How matrimony elevates just about everything to a new meaning. A concept such as: “she is going …
: 9/7 Sunset on an entirely clear horizon. The sun is like a drop, expanding and contracting as it …
: 9/6 What if aging isn’t just an orderly, gradual process of decline, but always chaotic, like an …
: 9/5 We met some friends here, twice, and both times we were invited to meet again Saturday and do …
: 9/4 Venus barely a degree above the horizon. It is deeply red and entangled in a surprisingly …
: 9/3 Verbatim Bookstore. Convincing answer to the question: What exists?
: 9/2 Met a couple from Nebraska at the pool. Saying which state you’re from is sort of a showdown …
: 9/1 For a few hours there was a booth of Trump merchandise right in front of our balcony on the …
: 8/31 Turns out that here on Mission Beach and Labor Day weekend, we got ourselves into an epicenter …
: 8/30 Mission Beach, San Diego. We arrived at 9.30 last night and had to get up at 5am to meet our …
: 8/29 Flight to San Diego. Paying for in-flight wifi used to be a nuisance. Although your phone has …
: 8/28 It is now normal even for kids to speak to a few hundred or thousand people. They do it before …
: 8/27 I have not developed any musical handwriting yet. My notes look like the scribblings of a first …
: 8/26 First tiktok since about a year. Got my workflow straight, used CapCut for the first time. For …
: 8/25 Learned that there’s the position that it is morally reprehensible to ride e-bikes, apparently …
: 8/24 Discussed Kant’s remarks about extraterrestrials. What does it mean when somebody (something) …
: 8/23 Faces down which tears are running at the convention.
: 8/22 Watching the speech as we, like we often do, hold hands under the bed cover. J calls me my …
: 8/21 Georgia, of course: a hornet of a neon kind of color crawling on the outside of the tinted car …
: 8/20 Night flight to Atlanta. The full moon high in the east, and a veil of cloud below it of no …
: 8/19 What kind of nerd do you have to be to watch the Democratic National Convention? And what kind …
: 8/18 Heavy clouds over the vast, flat surface of the river as I waited at the train station to get …
: 8/17 It used to be my rule to always write about what was most frightening to me.
: 8/16 Any violation of core democratic principles is immediately disqualifying and ends the …
: 8/15 In anything I play, I can feel the difference between musical elements I learned when I was 10 …
: 8/14 For the first time I saw someone deeply engulfed in a chat on their smartphone while running. I …
: 8/13 I couldn’t rewrite the report, so over the last few days, I wrote it all over again. Totally …
: 8/12 Morning, looking out west, when the light of day seems to come mostly from the facades out …
: 8/11 Decided I’d be healthy again today. Made it until early evening.
: 8/10 We caught some kind of virus that is nasty because we don’t have any actual signs of sickness. …
: 8/9 You would think that with instant access to everything, it would be easy to surround yourself …
: 8/8 Ran for the first time in one and a half months, in the rain, although it was only a mild spray. …
: 8/7 Walking out the door, a fine spray in the air, right on the verge of whether you should call it …
: 8/6 The same effect as two weeks ago: Now that the VP is picked, we spend the day sharing clips and …
: 8/5 Received the approval of my voter registration. Funny enough, that’s only a single piece of …
: 8/4 These nights in American movies, particularly Westerns, in which crickets are heard, were quite …
: 8/3 Spent much of the afternoon reading a book, and made 10% progress with it, a book that J read in …
: 8/2 When you share a book of your childhood with our own child, the first skill they will need to …
: 8/1 J and I definitely have a sincerity problem. (This sentence will be understood opposite from the …
: 7/31 My son asks for details of my workday. I get carried away explaining it to him, ELI10.
: 7/30 A piece of writing is good, if, having never written anything before, because of this piece, I …
: 7/29 That was unexpected: watching some olympics and feeling, more than realizing, that this is now …
: 7/28 Hard to remember when, in these last few days, I was on which continent. In this entire …
: 7/27 Due to the late rebooking and a delay of the transatlantic flight, we will now fly EWR – BOS – …
: 7/26 Woke up in the early morning hours with sudden, urgent concerns why it seemed almost impossible …
: 7/25 These are the days that would not have happened if the passport had arrived on time.
: 7/24 When a man has everything stolen from him, he remains calm. He needs two days to get himself …
: 7/23 Back in Manhattan and there’s no passport. State Department says it was made, USPS says it was …
: 7/22 Rather casually, after two years of coaster rides to which my daughter persuaded me, I have now …
: 7/21 Hersheypark: Comet – Storm Runner – Wildcat’s Revenge – SooperdooperLooper – Skyrush – …
: 7/20 Three-hour drive to Hershey, Pennsylvania in the evening. Hotel with two gigantic rooms, one …
: 7/19 Attempt to wind down and recover.
: 7/18 Five hours of driving for fifty seconds of Kingda Ka. (And Nitro, twice, one in the front row. …
: 7/17 I have to say it: Every moment with the children is guilt-ridden. I feel I’m not doing enough. …
: 7/16 Bonfire in the backyard with s'mores. In J’s words: If you want to inject yourself with …
: 7/15 First time I see one of my kids do what I usually do: publish something about the day we just …
: 7/14 Six Flags Great Adventure. Puzzled how humans take a bruegel-like pleasure being moved through …
: 7/13 Attempted assassination of Trump. There is a remarkable disagreement in this family about this …
: 7/12 Naturalized. Staff in the courthouse has obviously been instructioned to add the word …
: 7/11 Reading about plastic in Chris Goodall’s book. Squinting your eyes a little, it’s tempting to …
: 7/10 The kids keep asking questions about politics, very sincerely, during breakfast. I still wonder …
: 7/9 My parents got a one-hour computer assistance session which is included in their internet plan. …
: 7/8 Flight back. We arrive in a New York City that is bathed in gushing heat. I must remind myself …
: 7/7 An entire car full with people who are my family.
: 7/6 I will not pretend that I wrote this on July 6.
: 7/5 I lose track of which day it is. The joy of seeing people I know talk to each other.
: 7/4 Gothenburg, midnight. Last sentence of the hotel concierge’s litany: “No wifi password.” The …
: 7/3 Copenhagen. Want to sleep forever.
: 7/1 I so hope we will see these pictures and not be able to believe just how young we were.
: 6/30 Clearly my thinking in extremes at work here. I am now convinced that this election is done and …
: 6/29 Once again overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of things we need to not forget and get right …
: 6/28 This day feels like the one after the election in 2016: muted, numb. Seeking comfort in the …
: 6/27 Disaster. J had said in advance she did not want to watch it and instead practiced violin. When …
: 6/26 It feels daunting how this time next week we’ll be right in the middle of our insane Copenhagen …
: 6/25 Spent much of the day copying information between different windows.
: 6/24 Dentist. I had skipped one appointment since my last cleaning almost a year ago. I pay for it …
: 6/23 His seat is at the top of the table. He brings beer for the men, with cooler sleeves around the …
: 6/22 Heat wave. Staying inside.
: 6/21 With all the books in the world at my fingertips, all the recommendation engines, and all the …
: 6/20 First time I went to the office in a long time. An intern, less than half my age, wanted to ask …
: 6/19 To consider a thought of yours a sign of getting older is, in itself, a sign of getting older. …
: 6/18 In the world of the Challenger book, the things we do in a few seconds with a few keystrokes …
: 6/17 Of all the books I am trying to sink my teeth in, only to get repelled by most of them, the one …
: 6/16 More than what the changes in my life actually changed, they make me gasp at the vastness of …
: 6/15 The word e-book has lost its meaning for me. It sounds wrong to even consider a book to be an …
: 6/14 Getting magic cards in the mail from remote small towns all over the country, almost every day, …
: 6/13 My naturalization is on July 12. This means we’ll be celebrating it with the children. Turns …
: 6/12 When I told my son about the rocket fuel I invented when I was his age, a fuel with which you …
: 6/11 In the pictures of our wedding we laugh in a way I’ve never seen me laugh. I can’t remember any …
: 6/10 Looking at the elections in Europe and over here I wonder if the world has become so radically …
: 6/9 I thought if it was easy to learn the US political system on flash cards, it should be easy to …
: 6/8 Greater Newburgh Symphony: Montgomery – Elgar – Prokofiev. Too exhausted to think much about it, …
: 6/7 Oh, I get it. The exhaustion manifests itself in me needing reading glasses in addition to my …
: 6/6 This week seemed insane at the outset, but so far we’re holding up well. Back to New York …
: 6/5 Atlanta. Job trip for J. I work from the hotel room. We’re in a business burb of Alpharetta and …
: 6/4 Naturalization interview. I know all the answers just like in school, when it wasn’t supposed to …
: 6/3 Since I met her, everything feels like beginning.
: 6/2 Back in Newburgh. As we are driving back, I have to ask J several very basic questions about the …
: 6/1 Plattsburgh, wedding. Nice party. White people dancing. Come to realize that I have actually …
: 5/31 Any democracy is vulnerable to authoritarianism. Is this one particularly vulnerable, because …
: 5/30 This is not a fight between two candidates, where if the right one wins, the problem will go …
: 5/29 When composing, I try to find solutions that I myself did not expect, and which yet please me. …
: 5/28 So unaware of what’s locked up inside of me, so much revealed by a random poke.
: 5/27 True moment of wonder as we lay in bed Sunday morning under the open window and at around six, …
: 5/26 A book about awe that does not mention anything about the fragility of awe, how it cannot be …
: 5/25 Dug up the backyard with a digging-up machine, might call it a plow. (No, it’s a “rototiller”.) …
: 5/24 Patches of fog high up in the trees, even though the day is already brightly lit. Worker at the …
: 5/23 The fact that there was heavy rain this morning, so heavy that for a few minutes, I could not …
: 5/22 Did the quiz to check my alignment with parties in the upcoming EU election. The order of …
: 5/21 I was quite proud having finally managed to set up the telescope in a proper equatorial …
: 5/20 Northern horizon stays lit at midnight.
: 5/19 Liseberg. I had prepared myself to go on Helix, and then at a moment’s notice, because Helix …
: 5/18 We are overwhelmed by what is happening, even our awkwardness is overwhelmed by it.
: 5/17 Reflection moving across water surface, lighting it up to a bronze glistening within just a few …
: 5/16 Trees heavy with leaves, and those leaves heavy with rain during morning run. Roughness of …
: 5/15 Moved parts between laptops to make a functioning one for my daughter. Each of these laptops …
: 5/14 Eye doctor, examining the progressive dying of my retina and the vanishing ability to contract …
: 5/13 There’s a faint little circle with a magic wand next to where I’m writing in this Google Doc. …
: 5/12 These last few days the voluptuous, bulging green with which the hills are covered was as if …
: 5/11 Greater Newburgh Symphony Orchestra, Ravel, La Valse. Waltz that in some passages sounds as if …
: 5/10 Telling each other that it feels like we’ve been married for a long time. Depending on which …
: 5/9 I sent a document to Sweden, via Fedex, practically overnight. I could watch how it got routed …
: 5/8 After three and a half years, hung up the first pictures in my apartment.
: 5/7 I used to think of novels as the sharpest, most far-reaching research instrument ever developed …
: 5/6 The entire world is accessible (and reachable within barely a day), and so is the sum total of …
: 5/5 Garbage truck at four. The aggressive humming of the hydraulics and the cracking of the garbage …
: 5/4 It is absolutely possible to order magic cards on such an ongoing basis that you’ll have an …
: 5/3 I followed the keynote of my company with intense focus, much like I followed the State of the …
: 5/2 Workday at the Javits Center, stretching my social skills very thin. Met J afterwards in a Lower …
: 5/1 I was about to take the train back to Manhattan tonight, but hell, we’re married, I don’t want …
: 4/30 Oh and that trip to Brooklyn. We drove there from Newburgh, and then, after the reading, home …
: 4/29 Went to a reading in a bookshop in Brooklyn. It never occurred to me how inventing a fictional …
: 4/28 We will need a few years to explore this. For lack of a better comparison, getting married …
: 4/27 10.52am That special kind of closeness we are feeling for each other right now.
: 4/26 We are told that within a 48-hour bubble before and after the event we have a special pass for …
: 4/25 This wedding is beginning to feel like a roller coaster leaving the station.
: 4/24 Along the Hudson the cherry trees are in their zenith. The petals are so thick and tightly …
: 4/23 My mind has always worked the same – this general state of emptiness, poverty, and my …
: 4/22 Went out to dinner, and then, instead of returning home as usual, went to the gaming store up …
: 4/21 In a room with two other people, it is quite unlikely that I will not fall silent while they …
: 4/20 Rhinebeck, a Western Symphony Orchestra plays with a Japanese Koto. You hear something alien, …
: 4/19 My job turns more and more into saying the right words to the right people at the right time. …
: 4/18 I’d have something to tell about Barzini tonight, but I have to start by saying that I don’t …
: 4/17 We are sitting by the open window in our 9th floor apartment as we have our writing group via …
: 4/16 Getting your marriage license is a lot like going to the DMV. You get a number, you wait for a …
: 4/15 And again: I wish I would not have written what I wrote yesterday, but then again, it’s what I …
: 4/14 Writing is where I accept no limit. In all other areas, in my job, in music, in sport, I could …
: 4/13 Set up new couch pieces in J’s home. There was a time in my life when I would have been furious …
: 4/12 On the rooftop across from me – which actually belongs to a fairly small building, only 6 …
: 4/11 When in doubt, make a fool of yourself remains an excellent rule for writing. Also, the more …
: 4/10 Just for the record, I feel deeply ashamed about what I wrote yesterday and the only reason I’m …
: 4/9 It is getting darker in the middle of the day, first hardly noticeable, then faster and faster. …
: 4/8 A solar eclipse must be one of the things where seeing a picture of it and seeing the actual …
: 4/7 The models are now showing clouds rolling in from the west tomorrow, so all we need to do is get …
: 4/6 J drives me through Plattsburgh, and it is almost calming to recognize the actual structure of a …
: 4/5 Adirondacks, Plattsburgh. Three and a half hours, we drive into a room made of unstructured …
: 4/4 From today onward I have more weather models on my phone than the average newspaper article is …
: 4/3 Two difficult customer situations at the same time. Sort of my nightmare. Plus little sleep.
: 4/2 Difficult customer engagement, but solved it pretty well. Newburgh in the evening. Writing …
: 4/1 A flat impenetrable layer of clouds, blueish-grey, lies over the Hudson southward, and in front …
: 3/31 Paul, thirty years ago: When I look at the world, I see ERROR. As if dividing by zero on a …
: 3/30 What happens to us as a species, now that we have planetary power? And: How can I keep my world …
: 3/29 Our lives are still so unpredictable that I just cannot manage to work out consistently even …
: 3/28 No matter what you look at in MTG, even the tiniest detail, you fall into a rabbit hole. It is …
: 3/27 Only two hours of sleep, a day as if in jetlag. Only natural that I’m barely good for anything. …
: 3/26 If the positions you take are entirely governed by emotions, or moral instincts, it may in fact …
: 3/25 Swam in the morning. Both lanes and the side of the unlaned part of the pool, where the old …
: 3/23 Greater Newburgh Symphony, Rule of Threes. My opinions seem to me like an array of switches, …
: 3/22 Back to Newburgh. Uber from train station. Driver listens to a preacher podcast. Appalled by …
: 3/21 And then, out of nowhere, there’s a depression. I’ve slept badly for quite a few nights.
: 3/20 Not a good day for J, but she gave me a mailbox, made of wood, with a flag that can be raised, …
: 3/19 The engagement with the customer went well, but I don’t feel I’ve convinced the detractor of …
: 3/18 I will need to do my American driving test some time in the next two years, but driving around …
: 3/17 Drove to Newburgh and upon coming home, we found many of the smart switches in various states …
: 3/16 Bright and blue day outside. I will soon have to clean the windows to get rid of the thick …
: 3/15 Almost no sleep at all. I put off the customer’s problem for two days, inexplicably for myself, …
: 3/14 First time I went to a customer onsite in a long long time. I’m losing touch with the subway, …
: 3/12 When he played Rainworld with me for a few minutes after he’d done it with J, he said: “You’re …
: 3/11 Back to Manhattan, with an unexpected variant of the wheelchair procedure in Amsterdam: We are …
: 3/10 “The way it is on these weekends, I want it to be always like that.” He tries to say the …
: 3/9 Some progress with the telescope. Much of it is all about me and my son learning to give and …
: 3/8 I would assume that 99 percent of telescopes owned by families never get aligned properly. One …
: 3/7 Did not sleep on the plane, but watched the State Of The Union, for which there surprisingly was …
: 3/6 Sweden tomorrow. We wanted to fly via Munich, because they have by far the best wheelchair …
: 3/5 We are not special in the philosopher’s group, or the writing group. We are all very average …
: ¾ The eclipse glasses I bought came with a certificate. There’s nothing printed or engraved on the …
: 3/3 These age-simulating filters haven’t been around long enough that we could tell how accurate …
: 3/2 Economy of motion. My skill at freestyle crawling is something I mysteriously carried over from …
: 3/1 In the basement N can hear my steps as I pace up and down while thinking. He can tell what mood …
: 2/29 Seeing those people who never left my hometown feels like looking into an Egyptian tomb.
: 2/28 A ship is heading towards an iceberg and passengers line up on the railing and blow. It may not …
: 2/27 Team happy hour in a noisy bar at 55th street, shouting at each other in appreciation for two …
: 2/26 I wanted to do a mild run this afternoon, but when I got down to the street, the watch …
: 2/25 Everything’s full of opinions, I don’t want to have any opinions.
: 2/24 It was already a few months ago that we decided to drive to Plattsburgh for the eclipse, and we …
: 2/23 Picked up J’s credenza from the antique store, a heavy mid century piece which took four people …
: 2/22 Hudson Valley ice grey, the water, the crests.
: 2/20 Back in Manhattan. Spent much of the day deep in thought about a customer’s problems, to not …
: 2/19 They have tube TVs at the antique store, with dormant grey bulging screens enclosed in wooden …
: 2/18 Rachmaninov. Always that desire to do something that you’d think no human can do.
: 2/17 This may be worth a closer look. I didn’t take a program for the concert. In part, because I …
: 2/16 J played violin for a music production, and as it turns out, it is a studio in which quite a …
: 2/15 Always a bit disappointing when you talk to a smart person and realize you have the same …
: 2/14 The life guards in the town I grew up in are asking for donations to buy a new quad. I see this …
: 2/13 There are those things where you believe, as they happen, that you’ll remember them all your …
: 2/12 Looking out the window and realizing: This is not an old world to which I am getting more and …
: 2/11 Our first Superbowl together in Manhattan, and quite likely the last I’ll be watching while not …
: 2/10 If we were able to sit quietly in a room (Pascal), there wouldn’t be a room to sit in.
: 2/9 J is doing a comp sci class from Harvard. It has an opening video featuring a duck in all sorts …
: 2/8 Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea, a museum piece. I was curious whether it would be …
: 2/7 One night in Newburgh, and now back in Manhattan.
: 2/6 It is deeply unsettling how much I seem to forget the essence of J whenever we’re apart for a …
: 2/5 Of course my kids remember how in 2017, when I flew to Nebraska to see the solar eclipse, while …
: 2/4 Last night together. It tears my heart how my son tries to be strong and serious about it.
: 2/3 Check-up of my daughter’s ears at the piercing studio. Hot chocolate with mini marshmellows. …
: 2/2 Had a row of three seats at the window, slept three or four hours, unbelievably. Another two …
: 2/1 And Sweden again, without J for the first time in many months. Not one, but two biometric scans …
: 1/31 Fell while running. A grey afternoon run, just a little above freezing. Hit the pavement first …
: 1/30 Having an insight that seems totally obvious, so much so that you can’t possibly explain why …
: 1/29 Tired early in the evening because with all the exercise in the last few days, I never really …
: 1/28 Still living between timezones. Many hours of missing sleep at night, naps in the day that go …
: 1/27 Sultans of Swing in the supermarket.
: 1/26 Whenever I don’t know what to talk about with my son in our weekly video calls, there is always …
: 1/25 My daughter made a “dad core” video from lots of little clips of me doing things and saying …
: 1/24 L tells me the wheelchair essay is so good that I should publish it. – But I did publish it. – …
: 1/23 The lights across the Hudson, which I can see from my window, flicker unusually strong tonight. …
: 1/22 Back to Manhattan via Munich. This airport is increasingly establishing itself as by far the …
: 1/21 Gothenburg. Unbelievable exhaustion. We’re old people, and the kids leave us in the dust. Yet …
: 1/20 Gothenburg. In the yard, we build the Snowstle of Snowdonia, with Snowhenge and a Nano Snowman …
: 1/19 Gothenburg. Played Terraforming Mars and Magic, spent a lot less time on the computers than …
: 1/18 Gothenburg. Having two more nights with the kids than usual, which we are all excited about. My …
: 1/17 Beilngries. Getting better at withstanding the unbearable, admitting my own panic, which leaves …
: 1/16 Beilngries. Got drunk with my parents. Every second seems unbearable. Every second, my father …
: 1/15 Copenhagen. Out of our window on the 11th floor our view goes over Kastrup airport, basically a …
: 1/14 Orlando – Amsterdam. Flight attendants wearing aviator watches, doubly confusing. First, I …
: 1/13 Devouring Hannah Ritchie about Climate Change as fast as I can. Perplexing how a deeply …
: 1/12 It’s so funny, and a little embarassing, when J tells me just how anti-social I am towards my …
: 1/11 Florida bizarre the moment you land. The gigantic parks and resorts do not actually seem to be …
: 1/10 Team offsite in Orlando. After that, Europe. My anxiety before long trips like that is …
: 1/9 Made the wheelchair essay available. The death of Twitter makes it feel like I’m thrown back all …
: 1/8 This is unexpectedly beautiful: No matter how much I mess up the menuet, no matter how far I get …
: 1/7 Spent half an hour shoveling out J’s car in front of her house so we could drive to the diner. …
: 1/6 Watched Biden’s speech at Valley Forge. Not once, actually, but twice: in the evening shortly …
: 1/5 As I drove to the pool this morning – which would turn out to be closed for repairs –, I had …
: ¼ Spending a lot of time on the menuet. I have only thirteen days left and my progress seems far too …
: 1/3 The more technology we have, the more helpless we are without that technology. That is: more …
: ½ We tell ourselves that we love each other a hundred times a day. We caress each other and look …
: 1/1 Back from Puerto Rico to Manhattan, 12 hours doorstep-to-doorstep.
: 12/31 I’m like a dog. Every year, in retrospect, was the best year ever. This one was great in …
: 12/30 What would actually change if all books were added to the searchable universe – if I had not …
: 12/29 Played the Bach menuet from start to finish for the first time, though very very slowly and …
: 12/28 Scuba diving in the morning. Embarrassed to say it, but it lacked all of the excitement since …
: 12/27 Being in solitude with J is just as productive as being actually alone, if not more. Except I …
: 12/26 Having finished one book, I rarely know which one to read next. I’m curious about many, but I …
: 12/25 We started talking three years ago and we haven’t since stopped. And laughing. All the time. – …
: 12/24 Like last year, it is not until the morning that we see where we have come. No, not quite …
: 12/23 Traveling to Puerto Rico all day. Four-hour delay at JFK. Lucky not to have lost the rental …
: 12/22 Traffic island in the middle of Broadway, knee-high fence separating the cars and the …
: 12/21 The contrast between how I think as a German and as an American is unbelievable. You’d think …
: December 20. The essay – the first one I wrote with my new half-hour-a-day regime – is good. …
: December 19. I did not expect that the book about the Coronado Expedition of 1540, which 30 years …
: December 18. For the longest time I thought that the wind howling through Manhattan today was a …
: December 17. I’d rather not know how far an 8- or 10-year-old would have come with my volume of …
: December 16. Played a little Bach minuet with J for the first time. It’s still far too difficult for …
: December 15. All I can get myself to do is screw a replacement hinge into my portable keyboard. No …
: December 14. Back in New York. On the sofa, I read until the book has fallen out of my hand several …
: December 13. Another court hearing. Virtually present this time, and the defendant, once again, does …
: December 12. Submitted my application for naturalization. Expected processing time: about 7 months. …
: December 11. How Eco and Carrière lament, gleefully, in 2009, that the floppy disk became obsolete, …
: December 10. I wrote a brief review of The Gutenberg Parenthesis, just to get it over with, but I …
: December 9. Christmas concert in Newburgh. The Jewish conductor from Australia says, solemnly, that …
: December 8. And again: What should be an easy text takes me hours and hours and hours, and what I …
: December 7. Train to Newburgh in the afternoon. As usual, I try to get a seat facing forward and on …
: December 6. Ran six two-minute sprints by the riverside. Afraid of the effort, afraid of running up …
: December 5. Stages of bilingualism: I’ve had the German version and the English version of this blog …
: December 4. Before I go out to CVS to buy toilet paper, I spend half an hour deciding what to wear …
: December 3. I still haven’t gotten over the friendships that broke apart three years ago with the …
: December 2. I had not realized that the ten-year anniversary of this blog is already today, not …
: December 1. We had planned to drive to Philly for the weekend and go to PAXUnplugged. Somehow the …
: November 30. Let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel. – We’ve both known this song for a …
: November 29. Pale moon in the afternoon sky, like a faint cloud, but round like the things in space. …
: November 28. For someone who is twenty today, the year 1994 is such an unbelievably distant past as …
: November 27. I sleep in waves. A good night is followed by a bad one inevitably. And all over again. …
: November 26. Any technology feels like cheating at first.
: November 25. Always keep moving so much that you don’t have time to mourn how little of a distance …
: November 24. J is the smartest person I’ve ever met, a smartness that is primarily energy. Almost …
: November 23. For a ritual like Thanksgiving we lack all the necessary normalcy. That makes it all …
: November 22. To realize that the customer just didn’t think of anything and I have to think of …
: November 21. Spent the day indoors. It’s the week before Thanksgiving, very little is happening at …
: November 20. My son texts. He doesn’t have the mutation. That sets the path for a few centuries.
: November 19. First prerequisite: I always have to be able to be productive. I feel crushed if I …
: November 18. Went to the Strand Bookstore with J. It makes me sad to go there, or shall we say: It …
: November 17. At Cibo e Vino, which, like many restaurants in Manhattan, has had an outdoor pavilion …
: November 16. As I drive the car to the parking garage, I see a van on Broadway, parked in the second …
: November 15. I analyze my irritation with the Asian students in the building. First of all, they are …
: November 14. I didn’t realize that I frequently get into states of overwhelm, anxiety and panic, in …
: November 13. And the fourteen hours back again. No upgrade, but happy to have a free seat between …
: November 12. Birthday gift: CapCut Pro and 2 terabytes. I show the children pictures from shortly …
: November 11. Wrote a birthday card for my daughter, as if I’d never had a pen in my hand before.
: November 10. Lost the sleep lottery and got none on the plane. Arriving in Europe early in the …
: November 9. Getting ready for Sweden.
: November 8. If I had grown up in America, it is an entirely different class of thoughts I would find …
: November 7. Ran the 4.75 miles and my calf muscle seems healed. This absolute miracle, and in my …
: November 6. To be a contrarian I consider a title of honor. The usual translation into German is …
: November 5. What I read in Ezra Klein’s book is not new to me, but here it hits me again with full …
: November 4. Threw away an instruction manual. They better have all of that online. Just like I …
: November 3. Freezing point in the morning. Scraped car windshield. Swam. Sun rising in the thicket …
: November 2. First piano video in almost a year. I actually just wanted to try out the new camera, …
: November 1. Now in the fall, the yellow school buses stand out even more. The only vehicles that …
: October 31. And I just understood why they are using a clapperboard in film.
: October 30. Successful evolution to smartphone human. How proud I am of my cameras. From one day to …
: October 29. J lies next to me in the semi-darkness and looks like a constellation of stars.
: October 28. The theory goes something like this: the number of visible people explodes. As a natural …
: October 27. When I finally give up and realize I can no longer fall asleep, it is – oddly – still …
: October 26. Just jotting this down very briefly: I want everyone to be able to think what they want …
: October 25. Customer escalation shortly before five. It is not before ten at night that the cow is …
: October 24. Boundlessly stunned about the thoughts of other people. I can’t seem to calm down about …
: October 23. Reading the new book on Cancel Culture. Politically, nothing has engaged me more than …
: October 22. Weekend with paint brush and drill. Buying power tools is my love language. – J
: October 21. There aren’t many things I would want to tell my twenty-year-old self, except this: That …
: October 20. When we get to the point where artificial intelligences can instantly tell us every …
: October 19. First business trip in almost a year, two and a half hours by car to Philly. I used to …
: October 18. It’s a very strange state, not being adapted to your own technology yet.
: October 17. For Germans, the way I use technology is alarmingly reckless; for Americans, the …
: October 16. To court with J. We had flown back from Sweden fifteen hours earlier than usual so we’d …
: October 15. Unusual return flight in the evening, after half a day with the children. Landed at nine …
: October 14, Gothenburg. Ten hours of sleep, unexpectedly. Across The Spiderverse in the morning. J. …
: October 13, Gothenburg. My son got a new smartphone. It is, strictly speaking, my old smartphone. …
: October 12. To Sweden. Lost the auction for an upgrade to business class, so probably hardly any …
: October 11. Booked the wheelchair with Scandinavian Airlines – the airline that is bankrupt and has …
: October 10. I continue to bang my head against the fact that in music you can’t practice what you …
: October 9. Turned the smart thermostats in J.’s house into the orange area for the first time. In …
: October 8. Conductor before Tchaikovsky: Life is hard, thank God we have music! He shouts this in …
: October 7. Concert in Newburgh in the evening, then to New Haven. Long, narrow, winding road through …
: October 6. The customer for whom I have often worked late into the night over the last few weeks …
: October 5. Writers who are trapped in their time, virtually bunkered down. Now they don’t want their …
: October 4. It is warm, above eighty degrees. Everything still feels like summer, except that it gets …
: October 3. I’m still so dependent on paper that I’ve now bought a writing tablet. I don’t want to …
: October 2. While swimming this morning, at a quarter to eight, the sun shone into the hall at such a …
: October 1. Took the car and drove half an hour into the countryside. Glistening day, beginning …
: September 30. Slept ten hours, I guess it was necessary. Happy with two new smart thermostats, which …
: September 29. Looking forward to a weekend where I don’t have to look at performance graphs after a …
: September 28. Let’s put it this way: There are simply all kinds of different screens. Those that …
: September 27. J pragmatic: She reads on the Kindle because it has warm light. Otherwise she can’t …
: September 26. Kathrin writes that she doesn’t need an e-reader: “A separate device just so I can …
: September 25. Return flight. Boundless Exhaustion. Nerves wrecked. We balance reasonably …
: September 24. J’s birthday. All four of us woke her up and sang Happy Birthday. Played Happy on the …
: September 23. Watched Barbie movie, bought Magic cards, played Magic for several hours. Also, …
: September 22, Gothenburg. Together with all three children for the first time. Completely …
: September 21. Tonight Sweden. At twenty past five, to be precise. And we land at a quarter past one …
: September 20. This house is now almost a dorm for Asian students who spend a few semesters at …
: September 19. Told my son I am proud of him. Strange phrase. I’ve rarely heard it, and I have a hard …
: September 18. This could be the first moment in which I realize that my grasp on German is slipping. …
: September 17. Drove another hour upstate to the distillery of our favorite whiskey. It’s all wooden …
: September 16. This should be easy. The Hudson Valley turning into an actual valley as you get …
: September 15. Upstate by train. Hudson rough, whitecaps, water texture in evening sun. Sky in …
: September 14. The day today was cleared and I was able to use it entirely for the difficult …
: September 13. It is a sign of how much I’ve become an American just how interested I was in the …
: September 12. My manager asks if we have an in-case-of-emergeny-break-glass situation. I only need …
: September 11. Ten hours of report-writing.
: September 10. “Endless” by Keith Jarrett, with Gary Peacock and Jack DeJohnette, is perhaps my …
: September 9. A friend from the past writes that his first book of poetry has been published. …
: September 8. Elevators #1, #2 and #3 in our building are being replaced. #3 is finished, #2 is in …
: September 7. Struggled all day with data and measurements, and lost in the end. Next, inform the …
: September 6. It should be added that at Barzini’s and also at the Liquor Store across the street, …
: September 5, Newburgh. We were completely exhausted when we arrived here. Fell asleep at ten. Washed …
: September 4. And we did indeed do it, our astronomical kayak stunt. At eight forty, when twilight …
: September 3. Third morning. First night that was warm enough to have the sleeping bag not fully …
: September 2. Camping in space. The first night was much colder than the second - forty-five degrees …
: September 1. Campsite without running water this time, but on the lakeshore. I can jump in right …
: August 31. Hammocking in the Adirondacks. We arrive with one and a half hour of remaining daylight.
: August 30. Adam Neely at the Blue Note yesterday. Yes, one should say Sungazer, but everybody says …
: August 29. So making music seems to mean: bringing one’s own body into agreement with the musical …
: August 28. Back to Manhattan. To be noted: We want to get to the state where each of us has so much …
: August 27. J. and I drove to Newburgh to pack the car for the camping weekend. Meanwhile, I’ve been …
: August 26. My manager’s late wedding party in Flatiron. A loft in purple light, the music …
: August 25. My mother replied. During the three years of her long-distance relationship with my …
: August 24. My daughter wants to know for school how we communicated when we were the age she is now, …
: August 23. Another morning with the team of which one half is in Armenia and the other half in Utah. …
: August 22. My goals on the piano are, in that order: 1) improvisation, 2) composition, 3) …
: August 21. Dental cleaning that felt like my teeth were getting ripped out. The specialist …
: August 20. Practiced piano. Progress incredibly slow. If it were just a matter of learning specific …
: August 19. I wonder how much of my childhood fascination with science fiction was that I imagined …
: August 18. My daughter makes a roller coaster edit and for the music she uses Blue Monday. I say …
: August 17. The seven and a half miles again. Was easier this time. Hard to believe how deep a hole I …
: August 16. We sit together and have opinions about technical and political issues. It is boring to …
: August 15. Ran the seven and a half miles in the afternoon. It was tough, and I was surprised to …
: August 14. I was recommended a piano book and was annoyed that it was only available on paper. So I …
: August 13. Watched The Life of Brian, there’s a pretty straight line from it to the Fermi Paradox.
: August 12. Will replace the outside mirror on the passenger door of J’s Venza. I got the replacement …
: August 11. Tried to find a dark place with a clear view to see the Perseids, but here in the …
: August 10. Personally, I just don’t care if anyone scrapes my writing. I assume that somebody does, …
: August 9. Oppenheimer – as shown in the movie – wants to build the atomic bomb because it’s his …
: August 8, watched Oppenheimer. Convincing ambivalence.
: August 7. Jeff Jarvis, The Gutenberg Parenthesis. I devoured this until the last page, expecting …
: August 6. All the effort the fish made to come ashore culminates in us wanting to live by the sea.
: August 5. Pool party with the co-workers. Our boss: We’ve been doing this for such a long time …
: August 4, New Jersey. Felt so lost in this day that it almost took my breath away. We had a normal …
: August 3, New Jersey for the weekend. When I was last here three years ago, I couldn’t believe that …
: August 2. Puzzled why I want to play the piano. It is clear that the improvisations can only come …
: August 1. Dinner at Dagon. Both the people to the left of us (two older women) and to the right of …
: July 31. J will need the wheelchair more and more in the future. She wants to know if I still want …
: July 30. Picnic in Central Park. Definitely European: brie with prosciutto and limoncello. We used …
: July 29. J is learning German. That is wonderful, although I’ve not had any experience how lovers …
: July 28. Surprising realization that the way my grown son and I interact is completely …
: July 27. A heat wave, three days of close to a hundred degrees. I throttle the refrigerator a bit …
: July 26. When I play the piano, I think: Now everything is finally coming together. The theory, the …
: July 25. Canary in the coal mine: When J took me to the train in Newburgh, it was raining. I didn’t …
: July 24. Work day with no meetings. To Newburgh in the evening so that tomorrow I can help J connect …
: July 23. Latino wedding on Long Island. Remarkable awwww! sounds among the guests whenever someone …
: July 22. Concert of movie music in Newburgh. The natural kinship of movies and orchestra. Saw the …
: July 21. So strange how emphatically I refused the books, the vinyl records, and how nothing hangs …
: July 20. And then a poem, as if someone were spelling out the world.
: July 19. An intellectual drought. What should be particularly bad about it, when life is otherwise …
: July 18. I told my son that if he starts reading books, he will never be bored again, because …
: July 17. I have a lack of enthusiasm that is truly frightening. I can’t think of a book, for …
: July 16. Microscopic progress on the piano, but it’s great to play that hour or two a day because …
: July 15. To say that I have a genetic defect seems imprecise to me. After all, it is in every cell …
: July 14. Duolingo sounds coming from the direction of J. Played piano and violin with her. Dinner in …
: July 13. Two weeks ago I got the confirmation of my genetic defect: In the CCM1 / KRIT1 gene, at …
: July 12. Had fun running four and a half miles in the remaining summer heat at ten in the evening. …
: July 11. People cheer and whoop in those roller coaster videos at enormous volume. I guess that is …
: July 10. And back to New York. Alarm in Gothenburg at six thirty, up at seven, that was tough …
: July 9. Brought the kids home. They do not raise their arms as their mother hugs them. Once again I …
: July 7. Back in New York. The kids are wiped out. A virus has hit them. I suggested we eat at Playa …
: July 6. We fly back to New York tomorrow. First rain here. My son has a cough, so we’re not even …
: July 5, Universal Studios. My daughter and I did the Hulk and the Velocicoaster. Both only once. …
: July 4. Sparklers and unexpected hugs.
: July 3. The kids are making incredible progress in swimming and diving. Much better legwork, it …
: July 2. Slowly we get used to the rhythm. The most important decision of the day: pool or beach. If …
: July 1. We got involved with forces that I completely underestimated. Or maybe I didn’t …
: June 28. Daughter meets friends from the past, at Pain Quotidien. Tried out the image-stabilizing …
: June 27. We all sleep till eleven. At three we go to the Museum of Natural History, at seven to the …
: June 26. My son remembers the trashy lights in the buses. My daughter is delighted with the sea of …
: June 25. Strange 36 hours in Gothenburg. Because I can sleep whenever I want, I sleep a lot, and in …
: June 24, Gothenburg. Dinner with the kids. Who is looking forward to what the most. I’m completely …
: June 23. Flying to Sweden to pick up the children. Got an email from Swedish Social Services …
: June 22. Ben Folds at the Beacon Theatre.
: June 21. Stunning insight: If I don’t get the laundry done today, it won’t be done before the kids …
: June 20. How in the morning, over the course of the first coffee, I get completely sucked into my …
: June 19. Found some music I made up and recorded when I was eighteen – thirty-five years ago. I am …
: June 18. Called my father because my own kids texted me something, my daughter even made a video. …
: June 17. When you no longer have to ask each other how you are doing.
: June 16. When I was twenty, I was so afraid of ruining my life by some stupid mistake. I could have …
: June 15. It is the task of the writer to find words where there are no words yet. If you think you …
: June 14. We are tearing our hair out as to why so many people are not curious, why they do not …
: June 13. A co-worker wants to go out for a beer with me after work. I find that puzzling.
: June 12. Bought binoculars with image stabilization. It’s wonderful how the image suddenly steadies …
: June 11. First time barbecueing in the backyard. The leaves on the tree, the birds, the clouds, all …
: June 10. Greater Newburgh Symphony Orchestra, Play of the Waves. I see people who seem obviously …
: June 9. Paradigmatic discussion in the writing group. J mentions casually that in the orchestra she …
: June 8. Narcoleptic day. Where is all that sleep coming from?
: June 7. I’m staying in Newburgh today. It was not because of the smoke that I came upstate …
: June 6. By train up along the Hudson: Everything is in a haze. In some places, the view barely …
: June 5. I got a new laptop and was allowed to keep the old one, which is already six years old. I’ve …
: June 4. George Coleman, Smoke Jazz Club. I had absolutely no idea what we were getting ourselves …
: June 3. J and I fought. Then went out twice, at six and eleven. Lots of fun.
: June 2. Glad to have thought about something long enough so that after writing it down, I can throw …
: June 1. Almost never in my life have I had anything that could be called an idea, and it always has …
: May 31. I turn my head left and right in front of the mirror and observe how my left eye follows the …
: May 30. Turned on the downward-facing camera in the entertainment system on the plane. Flying over …
: May 29. Two hours after we return the children, my daughter writes in the chat that her laptop no …
: May 28. The better it works with us and the children, the harder it gets.
: May 27. Trampoline, Magic, Mario Brothers Movie and Race, barbecue. Tried to set up Kindle account …
: May 26. Arrived. Exhilarated. Tired.
: May 25. Sweden tonight. It’s our first direct flight, and I bid for an upgrade, which we won, so we …
: May 24. The SRE of my most intense customer right now – the one I’m fighting with almost daily – has …
: May 23. You won’t be able to find that in the history books of the future – but there won’t be …
: May 22. Now it does look like everything will work out with our vacation.
: May 21, Newburgh. Yesterday we went to a game shop that had just recently opened. People sitting on …
: May 20. Discussed self-tracking with the Stuttgart philosophers. Skepticism: that something, when …
: May 19. I am very worried that something about our vacations with the children will not work out, …
: May 18. While dozens of cars drive around Columbus Circle, it is very quiet and you can hear the …
: May 17. In some old stacks of paper I miraculously discovered the original copy of my birth …
: May 16. Conversations in the freight elevator that I have to use when I ride my scooter to work. …
: May 15. Wrote to the passport office of the consulate. Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren! I have a …
: May 14. We have the agreement that we can take a two week vacation with the kids, in June and July. …
: May 13. Yesterday’s entry is one of the first I wrote in English initially. This is even worse than …
: May 12. Surgery to lower my eye pressure, using a laser to widen the relief canal in the eye. This …
: May 11. In a confused train of thought I suddenly remembered that there are glider planes – and I …
: May 10. Met with B. in the evening. I have the impression that he is much more at home in the world …
: May 9. During the run it smells like May. It seems strange to me to speak of a disease when it comes …
: May 8. J on the scooter in the light of the halogen headlight of mine, the fabric of her trouser …
: May 7, Newburgh. We drive back to Manhattan just so we can take the scooters to the Baylander …
: May 6. Concert of several species: Einojuhani Rautavaara, Cantus Arcticus. The orchestra comes full …
: May 5. What I like most about the scooter is definitely how nimble it is and that I can get around …
: May 4. Genetic test yesterday. The doctor and her assistant make concerned faces and lecture me …
: May 3. Night at the Hilton Midtown, where the city cannot get any larger. Vertical facades …
: May 2. J is in Midtown at her offsite, I am at home. I will probably go there to spend the nights …
: May 1. Took the scooter along the river In the evening, just because I could. The air is still cold, …
: April 30. Concert last night. The flute: how the reflections of the hall light wander along it with …
: April 29, Newburgh. Rain. Slept many hours, at night, during the day. In the diner, where the line …
: April 28. Genetic test next Wednesday. The assistant takes my medical history and that of all family …
: April 27. If I only reduce the mess in the apartment a little bit every day, and it is a little …
: April 26. Not out of jet lag yet. A strange in-between world. Hardly any sleep.
: April 25. Rebooked flight to New York, leaving Amsterdam at noon. Quite unexpectedly, both eyes move …
: April 24. Flight delayed in Gothenburg, stranded in Amsterdam. Night in the airport hotel.
: April 23. Continued with unabated intensity until we brought the kids home in the evening. Hard to …
: April 22. Okay, the fall against my rib cage just before we left New York was probably a rib …
: April 21. Clear, blue day in Gothenburg. Glad to see unexpected enthusiasm from the kids. Slept …
: April 20. The routine with which we make these flights to Sweden is by now quite impressive. We’ve …
: April 19. Got up at 3 in the morning, got home to New York mostly sleeping on the plane, and then a …
: April 18. Audition successful. Not a win, but that wasn’t the plan. The burden of two months falls …
: April 17. Workday at the AirBnb. Brunch at the bistro. BBQ in the evening. Drove to the concert hall …
: April 16. We went to the first best jazz bar we could get a reservation for. Seven musicians, all …
: April 15, Kansas City. At the airport we are greeted by gender-neutral restrooms. Oh, I see, it’s …
: April 14. Did the big round in Central Park on the scooters. Wonderful spring evening, all the …
: April 13. My son owns a fundamentalist book that someone gave him. He wants to throw it away, but – …
: April 12. Rode the scooter from the West Side to the East Side and back for the first time. Great …
: April 11. My mother, being unobserved for a few minutes, sends me an email. She writes that my …
: April 10. My Piano de Voyage has arrived, a keyboard to plug together. You can take as many octaves …
: April 9. Swipe-Right-Day, two years ago today. Bought two electric scooters, took them up and down …
: April 8. None of her painkillers are helping, so I went to Union Square to buy weed for J. There are …
: April 7. That is the insidious thing about being born innocent: You don’t deserve to become guilty.
: April 6. Family: such force fields and debris fields. And no one seems to be prepared for it from …
: April 5. The wall of the examination room is full with certificates from neurological and …
: April 4. The office of the neuro ophthalmologist calls. I hadn’t been able to get an appointment …
: April 3. Stuck in the elevator for an hour, a final rite of passage for Manhattan. Freed by three …
: April 2. The matter-of-factness with which someone in the New Yorker claims to only want to read …
: April 1. If I understand correctly, the AI issue is about three things: jobs, information quality, …
: March 31. Met put to sleep. Admired J and her brother for the strength with which they made the …
: March 30. Finally saw Mercury, from the parking lot of the fire station in Beacon, where we had a …
: March 29. For me, the world consists of groups of people who are engaged in conversations I can’t …
: March 28. Apart from accomplishing various tasks: empty. To have a ring made of black metal is …
: March 27. The many hours I invest in music scare me. I also read junk. My thoughts are shallow. Need …
: March 26. Wanted to see Jupiter and Mercury, went on the rooftop here in Manhattan. As I got out of …
: March 25. Dreary day in Newburgh. So wet with rain and sleet that every trip outside – we only go to …
: March 24. Music pieces as coding problems. I want to extend the moments in which I lose myself in …
: March 23. One to two hours of music a day. So easy to find that amount of time. How much of it is …
: March 22. I felt that the onset of my father’s dementia made it easier for me. That may be, everyone …
: March 21. Tiredness after the journey like an abyss. I don’t want to be tired, I don’t want to be …
: March 19. We chose the engagement ring at a dealer in Berlin, in a back building, three stairs, the …
: March 18. My mother describes to me how unbearable her life has become. I can imagine it: the few …
: March 17. On Bavaria: With the same inevitability with which my father becomes demented, I realize …
: March 12, Copenhagen: all silent. We do a city tour in an electric car. At the castle, one of the …
: March 11. Lufthansa to Frankfurt. The in-flight shopping booklet, which is in the seat pocket, is …
: March 10. Tonight Copenhagen.
: March 9. I just want my eye back, and my continuous field of view, without a ghost image and a …
: March 8. New hemorrhage in the hippocampus. But that can’t be the reason for the eye problem, …
: March 7. New MRI. This time the image makers are instructed to do the ear, which is not what’s …
: March 6. I want to play chord progressions that sound logical, but not predictable.
: March 5. Took J’s brother to the emergency room out of concern for a possible heart attack. But they …
: March 4. Rehearsal for tomorrow’s orchestra recording. A mother has rented the orchestra and the …
: March 3. J’s cats have PTSD and run away at the slightest disturbance. We laugh about it. Yet with a …
: March 2. I have started using an eye patch some of the time to get my weak eye to do more work. It …
: March 1. Man in the elevator greets me with a resolute handshake. Track jacket, gold chain, slight …
: February 28. The possibilities for learning piano on YouTube and Reddit are so endless that it …
: February 27. I can’t believe how many things I did between sixteen and eighteen. And I didn’t make a …
: February 26. Hardly any of the points of contention that are even possible between us is worth …
: February 25. Morning swim, a thousand yards. Later tried for a long time to get Kerbal Space Program …
: February 24. I thought long about this translation. “That nerve is famous for acting up”, is what my …
: February 23. My neurologist says this nerve is famous for acting up for no reason. She thinks a …
: February 22. I have been seeing double for a week. It’s not as limiting as it sounds because often …
: February 21. Super Bowl addendum: I found much of Rihanna’s show pornographic. Which is delightful …
: February 20. Rain in Gothenburg, back in New York.
: February 19. Ice-skating. I am very afraid and can only move with very small steps. It is almost …
: February 18. Repaired the wheelchair with the help of the neighbor – he glued the broken bracket of …
: February 17. This time the airline broke the wheelchair.
: February 16. Tonight Sweden.
: February 15. Second day of customer escalation. In the evening, 40 minutes of running and 20 minutes …
: February 14. Spent the entire day inside, in front of the laptop, with customer problems.
: February 13. Learned a lot during this Super Bowl. I still don’t understand exactly when a down is …
: February 12. When I pencil-mark the hole, center-punch it, then pre-drill it and finally drive the …
: February 11. By all parameters, I’m a surprisingly good crawl swimmer. A movement pattern that has …
: February 10. Do it yourself in Newburgh. Intercontinental culture clash. Precision and pragmatism. …
: February 9. It seems weird to me that one could want to write in a certain way, like with a …
: February 8. So I listened to a little Miles Davis and wanted to know what strange chord that is in …
: February 7. I watch the State of the Union speech every time, even though I can’t convey to anyone …
: February 6. Yesterday with J at the Prohibition with live music. It was a real revelation. I’ve …
: February 5. The hot water boiler in the building is broken. It needs to be repaired and a makeshift …
: February 4. When I hear music somewhere that I recognize and like, I always suspect that some system …
: February 3. In the meeting, we are supposed to explain how we keep the business and the personal …
: February 2. It was one of those runs when you feel exceptionally in shape. The training in recent …
: February 1. A musician in the subway at Times Square – where, as far as I know, you need a license …
: January 31. Ran ten miles. If not often, at least long.
: January 30. J suggests that I should let someone who is totally not on my wavelength read my stuff …
: January 29. Installed three new smart switches and one ceiling light at J’s place. I imagine how …
: January 28. Stuttgart philosophers’ circle, time travel. I find it surprising that time travel is …
: January 27. Big presentation in the team meeting, for which I literally prepared most in the hours …
: January 26. Just stood up and left in the writing group. I felt I had no other option, but I should …
: January 25. Painting in the concert hall at Woodstock: water falling over a weir, seen from a …
: January 24. That time during running when you can’t imagine giving it your all. In which it seems …
: January 23. Practiced a blues riff for a long time. Calculated the spacing of triplets and related …
: January 22. Went swimming again in the morning. I find the trip to the gym monstrous. We have to go …
: January 21. What percentage of people would say their parents did an adequate job? J believes – and …
: January 20. Morning swim at J.’s Gym in Newburgh. The lane is 25 yards long. That’s nine-tenths of …
: January 19. Knowing another language doubles your intellectual real estate, says Jen, and that’s a …
: January 18. First day since long ago in the office. Had already forgotten how the microwave works. – …
: January 17. With such a failure as in a game, where I’m much worse than completely normal people …
: January 16. Thirty-Hour-Day back to New York.
: January 15. Very distraught when I can’t do a game at all, like Osu! right now, while being …
: January 14. I’ve always been so busy trying to achieve even a glimmer of presence with my kids that …
: January 13. Sweden, first day. Actually a seamless continuation of the previous day. Children …
: January 11. Perhaps one should not completely exhaust oneself at a young age, so that in old age, …
: January 10. In EVE Online there is exactly what I dreamed of as a little boy with Lego.
: January 9. A few days ago, I asked on Reddit how much looking at your hands is allowed when playing …
: January 8. We arrive at Dagon, which is packed to the brim, and ask for a table for two. We do not …
: January 7. Video games: structure and graphical embellishment.
: January 6. First tempo run this year. Can’t believe how far I’ve fallen behind. Also worried I might …
: January 5, Writing Group. Enthusiastic.
: January 4. Tonight I had one of those musical insights again, which, when you write it down, sounds …
: January 3. Somebody does not want to be in the same book as someone who has a different opinion. So …
: January 2. I must come to terms with the fact that J reads ten times faster than I do. All right, …
: January 1. Back in New York. The bathing suits, which we packed wet in a plastic bag, smell like …
: December 31. We sometimes find a grasshopper, a gecko or a spider on the wall, which we then …
: December 30. Been diving again. This time, because of difficulties with the health questionnaire, …
: December 29. The sparkle of the sea is truly extraordinary, and we puzzled over whether anything …
: December 28. Now I have realized that I do not want to leave any traces in the physical world. No …
: December 27. Yesterday SCUBA diving. The suddenly opened third dimension, and not only that, but the …
: December 26. The long-beaked birds that circle over the sea in the morning and come considerably …
: December 25, Rincón, Puerto Rico. I find the luxury of this villa we rented mysterious. The walls …
: December 24. I think I remember that my parents have great contempt for people who, like us, fly to …
: December 23. My addiction to attract attention without wanting the slightest contact with anyone. …
: December 22. I get a little impatient when I set my vacuum robot and my mop robot down somewhere in …
: December 21. In the subway, on escalators, on backpacks the logos of companies I encounter online …
: December 20. I should add to yesterday that we have no friends here, in Manhattan. In other parts of …
: December 19. We try out a new restaurant at Amsterdam and Eighty-first. The woman who serves us acts …
: December 18. Ballet always leaves me somewhere between fascinated and disturbed. This time rather …
: December 17. Nutcracker on Long Island. Snowflake ballet on Titan.
: December 16. Got vaxxed yesterday, a few hours of elevated temperature today, numb. All gone in the …
: December 15. Touched a violin for the first time. It was J’s. She put it in my hand and showed me …
: December 14. These hilarious discussions about whether you can learn an instrument late in life, and …
: December 13. Of course I know why, but I do find it amazing that when night falls – when we turn …
: December 12. I could write the longest entry I’ve ever written about this day, but I write: Didn’t …
: December 11. Now we get warnings that you should take your selfies off the net so they can’t be used …
: December 10. Posted the English translation of the communication essay. Thought long and hard about …
: December 9. Stumbled over the word self-publishing. How else could publishing work? Oh, I see: …
: December 8. I have set my instagram account to private. It’s too much fun to experiment with …
: December 7. Very smart. When I share a link to a post with unclear content, nobody has a particular …
: December 6. Picked up J from the garage, rented an umbrella from Rentbrella for the way there. Every …
: December 5. For months I have hardly been able to focus on a book, but The Escape Artist by Jonathan …
: December 4. Uploaded the piano video after all. I shouldn’t worry so much about it. It is a log.
: December 3. The orchestra plays Jingle Bells, and children are allowed on stage to conduct it. The …
: December 2. Worked from the hotel, and returned to Newburgh at noon. Rest of the on-call at J’s …
: December 1, King of Prussia. I am booked for two days on-site. I had asked if it really had to be …
: November 30. Recorded a piano video for the first time in a year. I’ve made great progress, but none …
: November 29. It’s been a good day. J had a good rehearsal, I had a good run and some piano practice. …
: November 28. I’m piecing together my sleep from a few hours during the night and a few during the …
: November 27. My son calls for help from Sweden, his hard drive is full and we help, still barely …
: November 26. L. is writing a book about photography, and she writes that it is not enough to be …
: November 25. Tended to my retail customer, as is the custom, over Black Friday. Hardly over 10,000 …
: November 24, Thanksgiving. J makes Sauerbraten mit Klößen and I bake American Pie.
: November 23, Newburgh. Tired, but happy, because I see my agility at the piano increasing, and more …
: November 22. From now on, I will base everything that I say on the assumption that I have already …
: November 21. Back to New York. Slept a lot on the plane.
: November 20, Liseberg. The one-hundred-and-sixty-feet drop of the Valkyrie was the worst and most …
: November 19. I couldn’t fly to the moon if only because I couldn’t manage to sleep at the right …
: November 18. How my son docks with the ISS, how he controls the six degrees of freedom and performs …
: November 17. J’s wheelchair was lost on the very first flight segment and her suitcase came off the …
: November 16. Artemis launch at just before two. We are both so nerdy that we can’t avoid being …
: November 15. Sickness averted. Sweden tomorrow. Although we should try to get as much sleep as …
: November 14. Tired. I can’t pack the days as full as I’d like.
: November 13. Unfortunately, still quite the chasms. – Our Mean Time To Resolution (MTTR) is getting …
: November 12. Sound of rain in autumn, when the drops fall on dry leaves lying on the ground. There …
: November 10. Eight hill repeats. At six in the evening, in the dark, it’s as much rush hour on the …
: November 11, Newburgh. Dinner in the diner. Watched Queer Eye Germany.
: November 9. Three writers meeting. It’s obvious that unless I’m writing fiction, I can’t make a …
: November 8. Maybe it was also because I never had to learn anything else. I could do everything just …
: November 7. One possibility is that my teacher’s phrase drilled into me: if something is hard for …
: November 6. Today in piano school the first broken chords in the left hand. This is what I have been …
: November 5. Had several musical insights in quick succession which, once you have them, sound …
: November 4. Every time I try to play video games so I can be a little closer to the kids, I realize …
: November 3. I used to get bored when someone said a landscape or trees in autumn were beautiful. …
: November 2. So we get to the question of whether you can quote tweets without asking the tweeter for …
: November 1. There is, by the way, no evidence that my autistic tendencies are spreading or …
: October 31. Following up on the Halloween party, it’s hard for me to say how similar it was to a …
: October 30. Halloween party at the karaoke bar.
: October 29. It’s quite possible that Twitter will go bust now. It always seemed like the whole …
: October 28. Brought J to a doctor, injection into the spine. It will be alright.
: October 27. I’ve had somebody clean my apartment.
: October 26. By now I buy almost everything with a few keystrokes and a few days of waiting. The …
: October 25. Reduced my speed on the piano to slow motion. Jazer on Youtube says one should play each …
: October 24. To wake up and to know you are now healthy. A younger person would feel frail in this …
: October 23. Sick. Stubborn fever curve.
: October 20. I wonder if the loss of physical form due to a few days off from training can be …
: October 19. It’s about making the world larger – in art, in science. Is that a universally accepted …
: October 18. Flaming autumn outside the windows, applause from the participants. Return flight, …
: October 17. I slept four hours before I left this morning. But in those four hours I woke up every …
: October 16. I wish I were a mathematician who knew that he could calculate everything except 2+2. …
: October 15. We were at an expensive restaurant in Midtown. The waitress was robotic, a DJane mixed …
: October 14. Those who are still wearing masks now are, for the most part, wearing the weak surgical …
: October 13. Buried myself in music. Always amazing how many different channels I learn on. Four apps …
: October 11. Work day, six hours talking for the customer. Ran. Writers Studio in the evening.
: October 10. Return flight. I must have taken a double dose accidentally, because I sleep the entire …
: October 9. Third day. Brought kids home. My son dropped the Cheops pyramid on a planet and made Mars …
: October 8. Another day as a jet lag father. Made it through the hours with difficulty. J made a deal …
: October 7. To Sweden. Jetlag.
: October 6. The only real race between me and my son. Four and a half miles. I run as fast as I did …
: October 5. Smoked weed with the two of them. Nasty experience, slid straight into acute depression. …
: October 4. Back to New York.
: October 3, Las Vegas. I booked us a room at the Tropicana because of the promise of a large pool …
: October 2. Taught my son crawl swimming in Lake Tahoe. It was so much fun, we forgot how cold the …
: October 1. Drove all the way across Nevada, now Lake Tahoe. What I expected from Nevada, it …
: September 30. I need to write all of this down in a longer piece. Just noting here: It was the most …
: September 28. Total rest. Pool. Ranger talk in the evening. Preparations now more clearly resemble a …
: September 27. He wants to know, not what I would advise my twenty-two-year-old self today, but …
: September 26, Tusayan. Dull from the five-hour drive from Las Vegas. It is eight when we arrive, …
: September 25. Back in Manhattan. Packing things for the Grand Canyon. We are much better prepared …
: September 24. It’s J’s birthday. Her mother calls. J picks up, even though she has firmly resolved …
: September 23. I find it hard to imagine that my son is not about the same age as me.
: September 22. Picked up my son from the airport. Good first evening.
: September 21. I haven’t slept badly at all here, next to the large construction site, for the last …
: September 20. Writing studio for the second time. Having a range of texts spread out in front of you …
: September 19. At the gym a woman I’ve never seen there before. I go from the weight bench to the …
: September 18. The metronome is an outrageously accurate gauge of my condition. A few days ago 70 …
: September 17. At first, people were pandemic-zealous and rushed ahead of what was officially …
: September 16. In the team meeting, someone explains the guidelines for writing reports. I stay as …
: September 15. The moment you call yourself a writer or musician, it becomes indifferent. (And you …
: September 14. Why would you even want to call yourself a writer or a musician?
: September 13. The deep-seated feeling that I have no right to call myself a writer or a musician, …
: September 12. I’ve signed up for the writing studio now and even before it’s started it feels like a …
: September 11. Back from Newburgh in the evening. At Times Square, the subway stands still for half …
: September 10. Dream: I am at my parents’ place and my son comes to visit me. He arrives by train at …
: September 9. Installed studio monitors in J’s study. I still haven’t decided on one of the sounds of …
: September 8. As much as autobiographical writing interests me, I cringe when it comes to memoir. …
: September 7. The building is now largely occupied by Asian students who come to Columbia for a …
: September 6, Manhattan. Rain all day. Ran in the rain, virtually racing my son, who has set his mind …
: September 5. Five hours back downstate on asphalt bursting with rain. Around us the world has …
: September 4. A few blown raindrops on the tarp this morning. Showers around noon. Been to Malone and …
: September 3. Now the days are too warm even for T-shirt and sandals. When the sun shines on our …
: September 2. It must have been an unusual temperature drop even for the Adirondacks – the night was …
: September 1. Five hours to Meacham Lake. We arrive at eight, half an hour after sunset, and set up …
: August 31. To the Adirondacks tomorrow (until Tuesday).
: August 30. I was not sure if I would still run. Actually, only the lure of incipient rain could get …
: August 29. How did this insecurity make it into me? What about the careful listening, the always …
: August 28. Back in Manhattan. Heat on the subway, urine. Reminded myself of my piano by playing it. …
: August 27. Toyed with the idea of buying a stage piano that would be suitable for gigs, and to have …
: August 26. J thinks I am a polymath, which I find honorable, and simultaneously so unjustified as to …
: August 25. I don’t know how to find my balance. J thinks I’m black-and-white. Unable to see nuances, …
: August 24. Truly no shortage of difficult, exhausting situations. Depleting sleep, and the number of …
: August 23. Among lovers, not accepting the other’s tone is a valid argument, all by itself. Tension …
: August 20, Liseberg. First we went on the Helix. I held on with white knuckles and constantly …
: August 19, Gothenburg with the kids. Because J and I are two people, the amount of things happening …
: August 17. An unusually demanding customer, using products I’m unusually unfamiliar with, in an …
: August 16. Lying awake, desparate about how empty I feel. J listened to the people around her at the …
: August 15. J thinks it is hard for us to express what is between us because we speak English. I know …
: August 14. Audio engineering, and especially the ability to do it fluently and without much detour …
: August 13. Salman Rushdie was one of the first authors I became interested in. I had just escaped …
: August 12. When I chat with my daughter, I commit the same clumsies as my father. By all means, it …
: August 11. This is new: I myself certainly take my smartphone out of my pocket after no more than …
: August 10. I lie awake from three o'clock, every night, reliably. Last night I found an …
: August 9. After quite some time, we argued about something again, but we really need to stop doing …
: August 8. Went running at 92 degrees and demanded everything from my body which could be demanded in …
: August 7. Went running in the hour before sunrise, when the heat and humidity were still just about …
: August 6. The question of what I am doing here, in New York, in America, gnaws often now. The …
: August 5. The good thing about sports bars is that you can always look at one of the screens and …
: August 4, Chicago. Depressed, unclear why. Threw away everything I wrote the last few days, hence …
: August 2, flight to Chicago.
: August 1. Pandemic wooden booth of the restaurant on Columbus Avenue, next to it the green paved …
: July 31. I like this moment when the Kindle display is set so that it looks just like a simple page …
: July 30. At Rimowa on Madison Avenue. The store feels like a mental hospital where the salespeople …
: July 29. The vaccination against shingles pretty much knocked me out. Fever, miserable.
: July 28. Annual checkup at the doctor. There is nothing wrong with me. I run eighteen miles every …
: July 27. It is satisfying to ride the subway and grab the handholds, which are full of sweat and …
: July 26. Fallout 3, Level 1 - The kids taught me that I have to buy clothes in Roblox, or at least …
: July 25, Newburgh. Ran six laps around the pond in Downing Park, with some cooling from rain. The …
: July 24. We only make it outside for a few minutes. It’s just too hot, ninety-five degrees. In the …
: July 23. Having to talk to someone in a video game scares me just as much as it does in real life, …
: July 22. People can still surprise me with the way they deal with the pandemic. Almost every day I …
: July 21. The eye doctor speaks with a kind of confusion. It is this confusion that, when it is of …
: July 20. My son’s mother writes a loving, moving obituary for her father, who died last week. I will …
: July 19. Writing on the plane. Since I’ve been with J, I’ve had to be more disciplined about my …
: July 18. The sandpipers that we thought were so cute a few weeks ago, running at tremendous speed …
: July 17, Susan Sontag, Journals and Notebooks. I must not let myself get into a state where I don’t …
: July 15, Florida. Feeling weightless because of the money.
: July 14. J. thinks I write beautifully about ordinary things, while Susan Sontag writes ordinarily …
: July 13. Started the day with seven and a half miles. – In the waxing salon I got served by a man …
: July 12. Exhausted, and I don’t know from what.
: July 11. I hadn’t been to the optometrist in five years. The eye doctor at the store was very angry …
: July 10. Baylander, five hours. For such a long time, surprisingly little alcohol was too much.
: July 9. Bought two controllers online at BestBuy and picked them up on sixty-second Street because …
: July 8. Again been of service to a customer, again needed a few hours to think it over, and in the …
: July 7. Coincidentally, I found out that there is an afterword to The Coddling of the American Mind, …
: July 6. In treble clef I was at 60 bpm yesterday, now it’s only 56 again. Video game before going to …
: July 5. We made a list. In the ever-growing avalanche of things that interest me, the most important …
: July 4. Now we’re playing video games, and I feel as helpless about it as if I were seventy. And no: …
: July 3. Concert for the 4th of July, Boscobel Park above the Hudson, across from West Point. The …
: July 1. That’s how fast a depression can come. Head yesterday evening as if clamped in a vice. I was …
: June 30. It’s amazing how accurately I can approach my cognitive limit with the metronome. Up to 54 …
: June 29. For the gym I had put on shimmery clothes, as I often do. In the elevator was a girl, maybe …
: June 28. Cloud structures above the river, after sunset. Gray swell clouds, watercolored, at the …
: June 27. I don’t believe that only people who are convinced that the world is ending can behave …
: June 26. The belief that humanity is moving astonishingly and overwhelmingly toward the positive – …
: June 25, Newburgh, Concert. Nielsen, Tchaikovsky, Sibelius. Conductor describes the music from the …
: June 24, Newburgh. J at orchestra rehearsal. I pounded a report into the keyboard, then sat …
: June 23. Looked at some Facebook profiles of people who were in school with me and never moved away, …
: June 22. Walked up and down Columbus Avenue a few blocks while the air sprinkled with a rain so …
: June 21. An hour of running, an hour of piano, an hour of reading. I don’t get very far with any of …
: June 20. Thirty hour day. It was the best weekend in Sweden so far. With J, I feel like a more …
: June 18. Been to the lake, with clear skies and cold wind. In the water for about ten minutes, then …
: June 17. Schiphol more crowded than I have ever experienced this airport. It must be the beginning …
: June 16. Sweden tonight. The two of us are flying, the children seem to be looking forward to both …
: June 15. This June particularly glistening. The leather envelope for my next eReader, to be …
: June 14. Whenever I do something new on the piano – like now the two and a half octaves, two ledger …
: June 13. If only I wouldn’t always be so exhausted. I want to do three times as much.
: June 12. Painted J’s bedroom, naked, under her supervision.
: June 11. J. has booked a dumpster again. We throw away large numbers of books. This time we are …
: June 10. In Antarctica, particles of microplastics have been found in freshly fallen snow for the …
: June 9. Harrowing week. That was close.
: June 6. Test runs of the talk before the conference. In the evening tech check at the Javits Center. …
: June 5. Evening sun, intervals. Sad. I do a lot, but everything seems meaningless. It fills life …
: June 4. Although I think about climate crisis, cancel culture and international conflicts all the …
: June 3. For my birthday, I am particularly celebrated for a whole weekend. Yet we are not doing …
: June 2. The coordinate system of Bellatrix, my robomop, seems to be rotated twenty degrees relative …
: June 1. It was almost thirty degrees cooler today than yesterday, and I ran half of the long seven …
: May 31. For the first time the full two and a half octaves in bass clef and treble clef. Toddling …
: May 30. First, seek a discussion, and, second, do not fall into silence when counter-arguments are …
: May 29. People in the park, music. Unexpectedly sad.
: May 28. One hour with the philosophers in Stuttgart, Newton and Hume. We drive from Manhattan to …
: May 27. I wonder if I can make it back to where my VO2max is the same number as my age. The highest …
: May 26. I say: I’ll sit down for a moment to write something down. – Sure, says J. – It’s not that I …
: May 25. It is noticeable that I like to play the notes from the random generator more than the …
: May 24. The first quarter marathon after the enforced break. The water fountain at the West Harlem …
: May 23. Conjecture: Stock prices will continue to rise, by and large, as long as we still need …
: May 22. Barbecued in the backyard. Moved the chairs and bench around concentrically every quarter …
: May 21, Newburgh. I wonder why the New York Times is reporting a million covid deaths, dramatically …
: May 20. Kathryn Schulz about her father, his life, his character, her love for him, his death. As a …
: May 19. That moment in which you’re convinced you shouldn’t apologize for anything, and that moment …
: May 18. Briefly considered going to Brooklyn for an author’s reading to justify my presence in this …
: May 17. Back to New York. The city seems decapitated to me. Hotels – all over the country – are as …
: May 16. We hold hands as we fall asleep, caressing each other, a slight bending of a finger, a …
: May 15. In the morning one of the many beach weddings. This one features a door draped in white …
: May 14. Drove one hour to the middle of Florida, 1 black frog, 1 snake, 1 owl, lots of mosquitoes as …
: May 13. Overslept the sunrise, ran one-point-eight miles on the beach, slightly hung over. Steven …
: May 12, Jacksonville. We weren’t here a year ago, we were at the Grand Canyon, but three weeks later …
: May 11. Flight to Florida. We want to leave three hours before departure, assuming that we will fly …
: May 10. Getting up in the morning in Gothenburg and in the evening, on the Upper West Side, after a …
: May 9. Back to New York. Decided not to take the kids to school in the morning because my flight …
: May 8. No sleep since three in the morning. At least I managed to stay awake all day. In the Night …
: May 7. A half-hour swimming lesson, for which we travel one hour back and forth through the city. …
: May 6, Gothenburg. Surprised that it got dark during the flight, but it’s also a month and a half …
: May 5. Sweden tonight. I’m not bringing anything spectacular for the kids. Not because I think it’s …
: May 4. What I did not know before Covid.
: May 3. Spring in Riverside Park, incredibly sad because of the children. How would this magical time …
: May 2. It isn’t just that you wouldn’t say it like that in English, you wouldn’t even think it in …
: May 1. Finally finished the blog post. Even half an hour earlier I would have said that I was about …
: April 30. Analysis by Jonathan Haidt of why in social media the boundaries are being drawn with such …
: April 29. First evening on the Baylander in the new season. The owner welcomes people, us …
: April 28. Renew library card because J needs a Statista account, and the NYPL has a Statista …
: April 27. The medications we carry around with us and take in as prescribed or needed: external …
: April 26. It is the first time I want to be good for somebody.
: April 25. People wearing cloth masks have now become a shocking sight.
: April 24, back in Manhattan. Yesterday the third or fourth therapy session in real time text. I …
: April 23. Fire in the fireplace in the garden. Looked into the flames for a couple of hours, being …
: April 22, Newburgh. On the other side of the Hudson, halfway up the still bare mountain ridge, we …
: April 21. Great puzzlement about those who still wear surgical masks now. If they were serious about …
: April 20. Three hours of cleaning, even if the cleaning actually only consisted of getting things …
: April 19. Ran a large part of the three and a half mile course without feeling my hip joint. This …
: April 18. Woke up with an unusually strong hangover, expected a quiet day without customers, but …
: April 17. One year together.
: April 16. Back in Manhattan. Trees blooming not exuberantly, but definitely, and everywhere. …
: April 15. Inevitable anxiety at tax time: am I about to give away thousands of dollars that would be …
: April 14, Newburgh. Listened to the morning birds through the open window until the rhythmic honking …
: April 13. I almost didn’t dare to tell J that I had concerns about flying. J almost didn’t dare to …
: April 12. Florida canceled, rebooked. It would have been our anniversary. Interesting the different …
: April 11. Now we are both positive. And Wednesday we want to fly to Florida.
: April 10. It is, I think, the first weekend in more than a year that work is not going on at the …
: April 9. Practiced piano twice, ran, gym. Wrote. They say if I practice consistently for four years, …
: April 8. Spring especially hard when it comes to the kids. Stages of pain come back that I already …
: April 7. Forgetting that you are playing the notes. I can’t believe how hard that is. If you forget …
: April 6. Official Return-To-Office. You’re the one that I want is playing in the cafeteria, and the …
: April 5, Secaucus. A clinic in an industrial park, in the featureless wasteland just outside …
: April 4, Plattsburgh, funeral: When it comes to family relations, I am practically face-blind.
: April 3. To Plattsburgh for the funeral of J’s grandfather. At one point on the interstate, next to …
: April 2, Newburgh. Weeded out moss between the paving stones on the patio. Played random notes on …
: April 1. It is definitely bizarre that I, of all people, who never worried about upsetting anyone …
: March 31. The orthopedist shows me the x-ray of my hip joint and how the joint ball is a little off …
: March 30. Don’t write anything you’ve written before. Don’t write for anyone but yourself. Write …
: March 29. Those who are still wearing a mask must be so offended.
: March 28. Threw out a third of the blog post. If only I could start over every day. J says there are …
: March 27. Back in Manhattan. We sleep until noon and then go to brunch at Dagon. Mimosa and Bloody …
: March 26. Greater Newburgh Symphonic Orchestra. The program had already been made in December and …
: March 25. The little website I built for a company-internal purpose is remarkably shaky. And I’m the …
: March 24. Whether my anger is so harmless that one can’t complain about it is not for me to decide.
: March 23. Hip joint complains. If I’m careful not to raise my feet too high when running, I’m sure I …
: March 22. On the Hudson, the first cherry trees are beginning to bloom. Inconspicuous splashes of …
: March 21. Back in New York. Day in orbit.
: March 20. This apartment is also in ruins. What remains are large portraits of the children on the …
: March 19. The women in my life are furious with me, furious with my rampant laziness when it comes …
: March 18, Gothenburg. Precious times when things run effortlessly between me and the children. No …
: March 17. The way I think about the pandemic – the way I’ve been asking myself non-stop for two …
: March 16. In the empty office building in which I am working I find a handwritten note: »I took a …
: March 15. The Google voice gives navigation instructions, and I puzzle over how J can imitate them …
: March 14. King of Prussia is a ghost town. The hotel is almost empty. Room service is only available …
: March 13. Total reset of the digestive system and all is well again. Took 36 to 48 hours. From …
: March 11. This obvious thought actually occurred to me for the first time today: that reading music …
: March 10. For example, that humankind not only separated into two unpredictable parts, but that …
: March 9. Dissatisfied. I’ve let the other blog slide for almost a year, haven’t written anything …
: March 8. The note is in the space below the line that I know is an F, so it’s an E. I last played an …
: March 7. In the waxing salon, says L, they did indeed consider hiring male employees. But since …
: March 6. Temperature rises, without any preparation, to sixty-eight degrees. A kind of theoretical …
: March 5. The articles about how the pandemic will proceed read like autogenerated stock market …
: March 4. All measures fall. As of today, restaurants are no longer required to check vaccination …
: March 3. J brought three books with pieces for violin and simple piano. It would be spectacular if I …
: March 2. I think it is settled that I’ve never been more attractive in my life. I am aging well. …
: March 1. Everything I do requires effort to even just hold my position. One week not running, my …
: February 28. My son asks me why I don’t write anything about Ukraine. I don’t think I have anything …
: February 27, Addendum. Two days ago I stabbed myself in the hand with a knife while opening a bottle …
: February 26, Woodstock Playhouse: Mozart, Hummel, Britten, Beethoven. This orchestra has not played …
: February 25. On Instagram, the only platform where everyone just loves one another, there is visual …
: February 24. Unfamiliar: Being the best for somebody. I have so far not been particularly good at …
: February 23. Four things were in the mail today. A notice from the IRS that my amended tax return …
: February 22. Unreal long day. Got up at three forty-five in Gothenburg, fell asleep in New York at …
: February 21. My daughter wants to ride a roller coaster with me next summer, and she showed me the …
: February 20. Worst threat: when someone invades my territory and makes themselves at home in it. …
: February 19, Gothenburg. We have barely two days this weekend, but the days are full to the brim and …
: February 18, Schiphol. Got one of the two meds in the airport. The pharmacy exists exclusively to …
: February 17. On my way to Sweden. Forgot meds at home for the first time. I have half of what I need …
: February 16. I have taken five different medications in the last few days. For others, that would be …
: February 15. Final court hearing, child support.
: February 14. We explicitly do not commit Valentine, we already celebrate every evening and morning.
: February 13. My first truly American Super Bowl. For the first time, I can ask for all the rules and …
: February 12. Psychological processes rarely seem plausible to me. For example, when I react …
: February 11. Bad night. Bad rage I might just be be bad as a father.
: February 10. Been to the DMV again. This time I had all the right documents, but my case worker had …
: February 9. Five years ago I gave away all the books. Yes, I never missed them. Not the books, but …
: February 8. Due to my only slowly increasing experience with high heels I fell down the subway …
: February 7. The invention of printing leads to a chaos of information that later results in the …
: February 6. Dissatisfied. I’m working on far too little. And what I am working on, I am not working …
: February 5. Chefs in the sushi restaurant, as if behind switchboards.
: February 4. I’m concerned that I might do in music like I did in chess. I was in a club for two …
: February 3. With J at the doctor. Full anesthesia on the massage bench. Rest of the day use of all …
: February 2. Court hearing. It consists of the judge asking both parties a series of questions, to …
: February 1. Started running again. Cautiously. My watch already doesn’t know me anymore and demands …
: January 31. Now it’s really pure theater. I’ve had three vaccinations, I’ve had Omikron. I can’t …
: January 30, Newburgh, Downing Park. Low sun reveals structures in the snow cover on the frozen lake. …
: January 29. It’s been just under a year since I bought the piano. I feel like I’ve only warmed up to …
: January 28. The strength comes back only roughly at the same time as the fever recedes. Watching …
: January 27. I don’t want to sleep all the time anymore. Sometimes, just staring impassively into the …
: January 26. Held out for a full day of training. While I’m talking, I don’t notice so much how limp …
: January 25. Highest temperature was a hundred and three point something. Unsurprisingly, the …
: January 24. Nothing but sleep. Chills at two o'clock in the morning.
: January 23. Our tests were negative, but during the flight we both became unusually tired and slept …
: January 22, Atlantic Ocean. The map in the seatback shows that we are flying over the Charlie-Gibbs …
: January 21, Berlin. For thirty-six hours, we ate practically nothing but currywurst. Got acquainted …
: January 20, Berlin. Hackescher Markt, later Simon-Dach-Strasse. It’s been a quarter of a century …
: January 19. J says that in Germany I act more confidently. As if I owned the ground I walk on. In …
: January 18. Road Movie in German. We drive up and down the small country. I haven’t seen Germany …
: January 17. Surprisingly good with my parents. Staggered drunkenly through the village.
: January 16. Not an easy weekend.
: January 15. Watched movie, played Sorry!, programmed Microbit.
: January 14. Frightened by the word “Earth”.
: January 13. Tonight to Sweden. We are both flying, with passports from different countries. Entry …
: January 12. Court proceedings getting into the realm of Michael Kohlhaas.
: January 11. Department of Motor Vehicles. As long as everything fits together, the process is …
: January 10. Harsh wave shadows. Remnants of snow. Trying to read the wind in the bare trees.
: January 9. Spent large parts of the day sleeping. Train back to Manhattan in the evening. I’m afraid …
: January 8. Emptied a storage unit in Queens with J and her brother and took the stuff to Newburgh in …
: January 7, Newburgh. Swept snow from car, been to Aldi, played etudes. Left hand wonders.
: January 6. MRI. Lying in the tube, I marvel at the contrast of my million-year-old, complicated …
: January 5. Found another app for reading music. It generates random notes to recognize and play …
: January 4. Practicing this-and-that-many minutes a day. But what for? I want to go to places I …
: January 3. There is too little data to predict how old one usually gets with my disease. But there …
: January 2. Reviewing a few technology concerns from Germany. J stunned, angry. How can you spend …
: January 1. J recommended me an essay on functional harmony, which I devoured like rarely anything. …
: December 31. Realizing that it’s more effective to practice ten minutes every day than two hours …
: December 30. Finished reading Evolutionary Psychology. I don’t think the bell curves are the truth, …
: December 29. I could almost find myself making New Year’s resolutions simply to increase throughput. …
: December 28. One of my tiktoks has been watched five hundred times. And now I’m trying to repeat it. …
: December 27. Back in Manhattan.
: December 26. Time for MRIs. For J, the first in six years; for me, the first in two. We watch our …
: December 25. Gray, cold, gas station with audio commercials in Newburgh. At first I wonder if it’s a …
: December 24. Dinner with Frank Sinatra. A gossamer layer of snow in the morning. We want to shop for …
: December 23. J finds my entry from yesterday disrespectful to people with chronic illnesses. I am …
: December 22. We ate at indoor restaurants twice last week and went to a bar once. According to …
: December 21. A hunger for life that can only be satisfied by the most disciplined scheduling.
: December 20. Playing piano as a diary. Starting to write down notes because I’m getting to the point …
: December 19. Nutcracker on Long Island. Again amazement at how the figures are wound up with a large …
: December 18. Been to the dentist. Another one of my forty-year-old amalgam fillings was replaced …
: December 17. I find Evolutionary Psychology boring. None of it is surprising, everything just …
: December 16. Unclear how I managed to get so out of training. A consistent downward slope since …
: December 15. The Dead Poet. I may add just one more sentence here tomorrow, and I better prepare the …
: December 14. I hardly want to write it down, but I should probably make a note of the fact that my …
: December 13. Walking to school. In the dark. Ten minutes through the woods and to the house where I …
: December 12. Alien days for my son and me. The days are more alien than we are to each other. I’m …
: December 11. Again, the conversations with my son tumble over, from one dimension to another. What …
: December 10. That was it. This is how it will remain now. For vaccinated people, the disease is ten …
: December 8. The booster had none of the rigorous efficiency of the National Guard. Pharmacy in …
: December 7. Unfortunately, I cannot prevent my clothes and extravagant footwear from making me look …
: December 6. Running in warmth, darkness, rain. With every person I have been with, the problems that …
: December 5. Emotions have no memories.
: December 4. Second concert in Hyde Park. Christmas concert. In the country where traditional music …
: December 3. Supervised a candle discount sale. Panic at times, it was over a million candles after …
: December 2, Valley Forge. First business trip. The pure joy of taking a rental car, driving two and …
: December 1. I’ve been feeling almost like a new person for days, just because I took the smartphone …
: November 30. J speaks completely privately in these videos. Just like we talk to each other alone. I …
: November 29. Running along the Hudson. In the dark I can’t see the waves on the river, can’t gauge …
: November 28. Walked around the lake in Downing Park in Newburgh. It’s a cold wet November day, …
: November 27. Left the house for the first time in days to drive to the shopping mall. Worldwide fear …
: November 26. It is not often that I feel so much like nothing. I don’t really mind being nothing, …
: November 25. Thanksgiving with Sauerbraten, Rotkohl and Klößen. Cooking it is one thing, and J does …
: November 24. Thanksgiving in Newburgh. First American Thanksgiving. First train ride up the Hudson …
: November 23. I’ve never searched for it, and I know few examples, but when it comes to their sex …
: November 22. I didn’t realize I could get so many things done in one day. Maybe not in terms of pure …
: November 21, Atlantic addendum. Wondered about the wind farm I could see in the ocean from the plane …
: November 20, Austin. With J down Rainey Street, a drink in every bar. We make it from top to bottom, …
: November 19, Austin, team meeting. J explains to me the respect in which I am held by my co-workers. …
: November 18. Flight to Austin. The endless cities. Airplanes crawling through the atmosphere.
: November 17. The benefits of engineers loving each other are unheard of. Problem analysis, strategy …
: November 16. Learned from J that I will try is not an acceptable answer in American English. An …
: November 15. Back across the Atlantic. I am such a beginner when it comes to feelings.
: November 14. The conversations with my son explode. Milliseconds and insurance.
: November 13. Soccer practice from nine to ten. Later My Little Pony, New Generation. Rode the …
: November 12, Gothenburg. It is unclear what my children think. They don’t tell me directly.
: November 11. Learning the unfamiliar art of not moving an inch from the spot. I liked the moment …
: November 10. Court hearing. It’s all on video. One window shows the judge’s chair, which remains …
: November 9. To feel my children moving away from me now. I can do whatever I want, I can’t catch up …
: November 8. Ran while the clear sky became deep red and deep blue. Some trees, in the grotesque …
: November 7. Hedge cutting with chainsaw.
: November 6. Drove aimlessly through the Hudson Valley, blue skies, looked at the fall colors. A …
: November 5. I can’t imagine how I’m supposed to get from the etudes in the piano app to reasonably …
: November 4. From what does the right of children to not be deprived of a parent derive? Because …
: November 3. Don’t expect to find something spectacular. Notice something that, if you didn’t notice …
: November 2. I have been reporting on America for a decade. And if it was to myself. And if the …
: November 1. I am taciturn with myself.
: October 31. On the gangway of the Baylander lies a red, lengthy plastic bag, obviously a corpse. …
: October 30. Set-up time for a jam session for two is now barely ten minutes. It’s not that I’m …
: October 29. I go to the company almost every day when I can. I go to the new forty-seventh floor, …
: October 28. Nano sprints on the Hudson as it gets dark. Feeling the fast-twitch muscle fibers being …
: October 27. The mother of my children has taken my children away from me. I am under obligation to …
: October 26. The announced storm with heavy rainfall delays its arrival. I go running, my condition …
: October 25. Completely exhausted. It was such a good weekend.
: October 24. First concert of J in Hyde Park, half an hour’s drive from here. The misconception that …
: October 23. BBQ bar on the Hudson. We feel surrounded by conservatives and are glad about every …
: October 22, Newburgh. With headphones on, I work on a piece of music while the cats are dozing next …
: October 21. Morning sun in the conference room, and what the various cameras think of it.
: October 20. Freezing point in Gothenburg, late summer in New York. You can find it unseemly, you can …
: October 19, Newburgh. Some trees along the train line on the Hudson are fiery red. Hard wave edges, …
: October 18. This morning at dawn in the rush hour of Gothenburg, a bike and streetcar rush hour, and …
: October 17. My son uses words like multiplanetary species and microwave background with great …
: October 16. And suddenly it occurs to me that our magic years were over anyway, because my daughter …
: October 15, Gothenburg. Alone with the kids again for the first time. Fighting my way through the …
: October 14. No doubt it was mainly me who wanted the kids to get their bikes. They didn’t seem to …
: October 13. To Sweden tomorrow. Conflicting statements from the airlines as to whether I need to …
: October 12. That’s how this pandemic ends. The dark areas on the maps get bigger and smaller, the …
: October 11. How life always finds the sorest spots.
: October 10. Watched San Junipero. Cried different amounts.
: October 9. We’re sitting at Dagon, where we had our first date, next to a couple who are obviously …
: October 8. All emotional catastrophes have already occurred, might as well play the long game now. …
: October 7. A text message as legally valid, unforgeable proof. How can you do that? Possibly by …
: October 6. I can’t take legal action and also focus on anything else.
: October 5. Support negotiations. Visitation negotiations. Who has leverage, and how much. Who has …
: October 4. Overnight everything has turned into spraying wetness. Autumn draws out the feelings. …
: October 3. To explain to the children why I don’t take their toys to Sweden.
: October 2. Discussion on climate change with the Stuttgart Philosophers delightful. My son is still …
: October 1. I want to have all the instruments, at least a guitar and a bass. And learn them. Just to …
: September 30. West Coast customer. Problem identified, problem solution in sight. Getting two bikes …
: September 29. When the children left, it was already summer. Now it’s going to be autumn, and I find …
: September 28. I pace up and down, I play the piano, only not to admit to myself that I’m too tired …
: September 27. A drum track with perfect sixteenth notes on the hi-hat sounds like a robot. It gets …
: September 26. With a little distance, the piece I’ve been programming for days now becomes a mega …
: September 25. This apartment is becoming a music den. If I didn’t know that music is made with this …
: September 24. Amsterdam Avenue. Sitting in a restaurant under the canopy while rain was pouring …
: September 23. Court hearing in one and a half months.
: September 22. I had the petitions notarized by a notary public in Florida before sending them to my …
: September 21. It will be a long time before I know whether what I am doing now was good. Whether I …
: September 20. Not to be shaped by the blows that one receives over the decades. To refuse to be at …
: September 19. Barbeque in Pennsylvania. Afterwards we have so much to talk about that we almost …
: September 18. With J to the Baylander. I want other memories of it, I do not want to lose the ship …
: September 17. The lawyer has prepared the petitions. I am afraid to sign them.
: September 16. I’m glad to be making a little progress every day. Not fully operational, but …
: September 15. I may by now know the shock of seeing something I used to see with my children and now …
: September 14. How big New York seems to me when I come back from a small town. Not an ordinary small …
: September 13. Close to collapse.
: September 11. Somehow got through the day. Haven’t been able to completely hide my feelings, and my …
: September 10. Patience. The apartment I rented for the weekend is now a bit too big. Patience. …
: September 9, Gothenburg. Nobody wanted to see my tests at immigration, the German passport let me …
: September 8. And tonight to Sweden. With the entry requirements tightened since the weekend, it is …
: September 7. The tent forest was now completely empty. There was no other tent, no other caravan to …
: September 6. Sound of rain on the tarp. Rationing our logs to keep the fire going until tonight. …
: September 5. Leaf rustling. An air movement stretching for hundreds of feet, a wave with seconds of …
: September 4. First night in the hammock. Unexpected. An animal prowling around the hammock – or is …
: September 3, Meacham Lake, Adirondacks. Hammocks strung, fire in the fire pit. Tall tree columns …
: September 2. I lie anxiously on the bed and feel my right hand twitch. J counts to a hundred with …
: September 1. I spent large parts of the day pacing up and down in the conference room.
: August 31. First day on the newly furnished forty-seventh floor. Only two or three employees there, …
: August 30. This pain is yours, not your children’s. That alone should make it irrelevant.
: August 29. It really isn’t that I don’t like video calls in general. It’s just that it’s similar to …
: August 28, Newburgh. Before I left, I quickly recorded a few bars on the piano so that I could take …
: August 27. No great confidence in how the situation will develop. Unlike with my first son, where it …
: August 26. Five days and again reasonably composed. I must be getting used to it. I begin to ask …
: August 25. I can try to turn each memory around willingly. If it hurts, say: it was so wonderful. …
: August 24. Ask yourself how much of it is sincere concern for your children’s happiness, and how …
: August 23. Waking up and for a moment still not remembering what is. Hoping that something will get …
: August 22. It’s just such a common fault line in biographies of the 21st century. Went back to …
: August 21. I have been informed that the children will remain in Sweden with their mother. I could …
: August 19. Hammock delivered. Tried it out by the river right away. Learned: one does not lie on a …
: August 18. The nice feeling that, unlike in the past, I can recognize sequences of notes and then …
: August 17. I’m shocked at the frying pan I bought, but even more shocked at the ladle two weeks …
: August 16. No longer being able to say anything without annoying someone, and no longer being able …
: August 15. Walking past the doorman with J, riding an Uber with J. I wonder what our conversations …
: August 14. For the past seven years, I’ve never had a hard time finding the few minutes to post here …
: August 13. With colleagues in a sailboat around Manhattan, team-building. J. explains to me that …
: August 12. The masks are a subject just like the weather. One might mistakenly think it’s boring …
: August 11. I cannot calm myself down. Anything I could do would leave so much else undone. Played …
: August 10. Started running with the first raindrops, seconds later soaking wet. The rain slaps so …
: August 9. I’m a successful writer, except that my success wasn’t with writing. It’s a feeling rock …
: August 8. J. explains magic cards to me. Totally blown away.
: August 7. Slept until eleven. Worked a few hours. Played music. Watched movie.
: August 6. Two thousand five hundred miles back to New York. There is still status left from the time …
: August 5. One of the jumbled up houses on the boardwalk has spotlights on the roof that illuminate …
: August 4. Tried working while under our balcony, on the wall of the boardwalk, a graphic artist is …
: August 3. The click-e-ti-click of a skateboard’s wheels on the sidewalk that runs through the …
: August 2, San Diego. Sleeping with the balcony door open to the sound of the surf. Behind the glass …
: August 1, flight to San Diego. The cabin is a darkened tube, hardly anyone pushes open a window. …
: July 31. The pandemic is a battle of confirmation bias. I want X, and here are my studies for it. I …
: July 30. At the hairdresser’s, although I have an appointment, I have to wait fourty-five minutes. …
: July 29. Why was I so interested in how the public turned inside out? Because I, like all authors, …
: July 28. The vaccines protect better than the masks, but the mask is the magic shield. Many are glad …
: July 27. Finding a continuation, a middle part, a conclusion to a musical idea that are so …
: July 26. Dragging the notes onto the sixteenth grid… how a track is a multidimensional rubber band …
: July 25. I really feel a bit giddy. As if I could feel certain regions and connections in my brain …
: July 24. Worried a bit that I’m spraining my brain making music right now. So many parameters, so …
: July 23. Emancipation of music. Everything related to sounds and time I can now do with software. …
: July 22. Put a drum track under a piano track. Rabbit hole.
: July 21. Went to an orthopedist on Madison Avenue. It’s a little embarrassing that I show up with …
: July 20. You should always say under what circumstances you would change your mind. I am tempted to …
: July 19. Of course, nothing is over. We’re getting ready for the next war of masks. By now we know …
: July 18. Luthier at Ninety-sixth Street and Broadway. Fourth floor. A neon violin in the living room …
: July 17. I need staff paper and music software. Writing down the ideas with letters is not enough …
: July 16. Sooner or later I will have to get used to my body being cut open, things being removed or …
: July 15. At my checkup, I was vaccinated against shingles. It is caused by chicken pox viruses that …
: July 14. First doctor checkup ever. And this one is only because I want to get rid of the cyst on my …
: July 13. Over time, the subway makes you develop a good inventory of mental disorders. Nothing can …
: July 12. Things worth knowing, things worth knowing about Erlangen. – I was riding in a packed ICE …
: July 11. Doing things together which are so nerdy that any external observer, if there was one, …
: July 10. The Uber driver who takes us back from Central Park hears the chant of a muezzin on the …
: July 9. Strongest memory of the people who helped me at the times when I was at my worst.
: July 8. When New Yorkers will say: That’s how we got through the pandemic together, I will have to …
: July 7. I want to do what I think I almost cannot do. That is not enough. I must want what I think …
: July 6. Selected a beach hotel in San Diego. My hatred for wealthy retirees may have to turn on …
: July 5. Been to Queens with J. On the Long Island Expressway we drive past her old apartment. She …
: July 4. Went running. Listened to Heinz Rudolf Kunze. Baylander.
: July 3. Unexpected argument: What if vaccinated people do not exercise their rights, out of pure …
: July 2. Vaccinated people no longer get sick or infect anyone. They no longer play a role in the …
: July 1. I’ve been thinking for a long time why I never see light in the residential towers. …
: June 30. Now the second one from my class died.
: June 29. Power outage upstate. J. and her brother come as heat refugees.
: June 28. Now that the CDC has lifted all restrictions on vaccinated people, the WHO cannot fail to …
: June 27. When we play piano and violin together, it’s painfully obvious how little I can control the …
: June 26. NYRR LGBT Pride Run. I did better than I had to fear I would, and not as well as I expected …
: June 25. A little bit of fear before the race tomorrow. Maybe a little much fear.
: June 24. Signs are now also posted on the glass windows of the lobby of the corporate building that …
: June 23. J. can remotely control the lights in my apartment, no matter where she is. Does that make …
: June 22. In the extension of Broadway I can see one of the towers of the Hudson Yards, the vertical …
: June 21. One should be able to google that: What is the difference between choosing a partner …
: June 20. Furthermore following: Elevator Episodes.
: June 19. I’m so fed up with the pandemic that I don’t even feel like writing down how it ends. But …
: June 18. Back in Manhattan, and it takes us surprisingly long to realize that we’re not going …
: June 17. Now that we have spent a few days in a world almost without a pandemic, the mandatory …
: June 16. Our last full day here. So far, every day has been completely unpredictable and brought …
: June 15. People gather here from all over the place, and it’s striking that almost all of them are …
: June 14. I am so under the spell of the virtue signals. They make me wince. Only the people from the …
: June 13. We are not quiet for a minute, except when we sleep, and then it is a sleep of exhaustion. …
: June 12. During the day more interested in the people on the beach than in the beach. In the evening …
: June 11. Ran five miles on the beach. The sun was already up, making it harder with each passing …
: June 10. Bubbling up of the wave just coming in, while below it the previous wave is receding. …
: June 9. The sound of the waves that never stops.
: June 8. Automatic plant watering is like a rocket launch. You can try everything from the amount of …
: June 7. Woke up at three-something. Lay awake and kept thinking on the problem so I could write up …
: June 6. To be coy about saying I love you.
: June 5. Critiquing someone else’s code is harder than any programming task. You have to understand …
: June 4. In moments when life is meaning well, hold nothing back.
: June 3. M. sits at the reception without a mask for the first time. The rules have allowed it for …
: June 2. Ran four miles, slowly. I’m doing well on the training plan, but how I’m going to do six …
: June 1. Played something in G major for the first time. Completely blown away by the key. Just had …
: May 31. All the things we want to do in those nine days in Florida, let’s do them immediately. Right …
: May 30. As a child, anything you do could lead to you becoming it. Playing the piano, for example, …
: May 29. Kevin Kelly declares that from now on he will refrain from shaking hands. This is a good …
: May 28. Nowhere can you observe the progression of the story better than in the elevator episodes. …
: May 27. The three miles that should have been “easy” I ran with considerable energy. Bill Gates, …
: May 26. Somewhat incredulously walked around the company floor without a mask. Everyone is perplexed …
: May 25. As of tomorrow – but possibly even as of today due to a date error, according to my …
: May 24. A woman has collapsed on Broadway, can’t get up, appears disoriented. Four people stop by, …
: May 23. The bartender on the Baylander, who always greets me with a big hello when I come with the …
: May 22. Is she nice? my daughter wants to know. If she wasn’t nice, she wouldn’t be my girl-friend, …
: May 21. Recital at the end of the piano semester. The teacher comes to my children’s home, I am also …
: May 20. The level of enthusiasm of my customers is in no relation to the extent of my help to them. …
: May 19. The CDC’s new directive that vaccinated people no longer have to wear masks in many …
: May 18. To visit a place because there is value in merely looking at it is a very new idea. Unsure …
: May 17. The fact that we spent a total of about two hours on the rim of the Grand Canyon, while the …
: May 16, Grand Canyon, postscript. I come here every few years and observe how my stay in reality …
: May 15, Las Vegas. Approach over northwest Arizona in flat light, haze. Doesn’t miss its mark, …
: May 14. Excited to be traveling. I used to have so much routine that I could leave for any place in …
: May 13. Filed taxes. You can probably never do it without that choking sense of panic, no matter …
: May 12. Audiobook during the hour in the gym. More like a desparate paddling to keep up somehow. …
: May 11. Now texting back and forth for hours every night. There’s so much to talk about. That women, …
: May 10. Reading Bill Gates, how he alternately justifies and apologizes for his favorite hobby, …
: May 9. Out of nowhere, my daughter comes and hugs me. You are the best daddy. – Why? – You are …
: May 8. What I did on a day when I didn’t set out to do anything: reading, in the Pragmatist’s Guide …
: May 7. In sexual matters, it is unclear what I want, what I need, and what I can do. It is also not …
: May 6. This morning all the health check questions for the company went away for me and my …
: May 5. Why do I have such an enormous fear of receiving gifts? I don’t want to be forced to be …
: May 4. Today at the company, I was allowed to use the microwave again for the first time, even if …
: May 3. »For you there is no sex. If you find any fault with that, prove the opposite.« I wonder if …
: May 2. To wake up and feel all those beautiful bodies you saw yesterday waking up side by side this …
: May 1. First two weeks of computer-assisted bilinguality. The nasty: I can cheat. I don’t need to …
: April 30. Dating and not taking any precautions against developing a deeper interest in the other …
: April 29. There are still variations on elevator etiquette. Two women are in the car. I intend to …
: April 28. Lost the chess game against my son last night because I completely missed that it was my …
: April 27. First Hanon etude. I really like this playing up and down of the pattern. How the hand is …
: April 26. All probabilities have been replaced by could. It could be that a child dies from it. It …
: April 25, 6.43a. Now we’re finally getting to it. For some unknown reason, I took the thickest …
: April 24. Second vaccination dose. Everything just as routine as the first, nothing new to report. …
: April 23. It’s so perplexing how easily I forget the whole world. Then I’m locked into what I know, …
: April 22. Utterly strange moment: I’m giving a presentation to customers, a small training session, …
: April 21. I slowly realize that there are not infinitely many chords at all, but only a rather …
: April 20. Second attempt of the first day back at the company. The floors are a bit less empty now …
: April 19. I play the piano groove from James and the Cold Gun. My daughter, engrossed in the video …
: April 18. The uncertainty of dating sites: What you don’t write about yourself for tactical reasons, …
: April 17. I had to be reminded of this sentence of mine – was it really mine? – by someone else: you …
: April 16. At the hairdresser’s. It was nine o'clock, the salon had just opened, and between …
: April 15. Is there anyone at all whose fear level is linked to probabilities? If you think in terms …
: April 14. Of course it’s easy if you can point to Elton John or David Bowie or the boy in ballet …
: April 13. Meanwhile, vaccinations are also given in pharmacies. Unlike the state-run mass …
: April 12. The new training plan may feel strange with the short distances and long warm-up and …
: April 11. The whole day was strangely lightless, a completely uniform white from all directions …
: April 10. I ask my daughter if she knows what kind of tree this is. Cherry blossom tree she says, …
: April 9. New bike for my son, a twenty-inch with six gears. Completely unexpected: that the major …
: April 8. Last year I wrote about the magnolia on Broadway on March 27, this year it is today. One …
: April 7. By now, it’s familiar that every question related to the pandemic leads to a screech like …
: April 6. Just because it’s so nice to watch the colored hands move, I’ve activated a 10k training …
: April 5. Yes, with the men from the National Guard – they were only men – I had to use the …
: April 4. Left upper arm feels like I bumped it somewhere. It gets weaker as the day goes on. I slept …
: April 3. Vaccination hall at the horse racing track. There are no lines, it just goes through …
: April 2. Look at the river! my son exclaimed as we struggled up the Greenway on our bikes in strong …
: April 1. L. booked me a vaccination appointment for the day after tomorrow. Aqueduct Racetrack, …
: March 31. Grandiose performance of my lack of spontaneity. I am thinking that soon, once I have …
: March 30. What I wrote yesterday about vaccination eligibility was written down a day late, and the …
: March 29. Half asleep, learned from some feed that I am now eligible for vaccination because over …
: March 28. Crazy unhinged day. I had to work, but managed nowhere near what I should have, partly …
: March 27. Ran the half marathon again. Fifteen minutes faster. Then went to the restaurant down here …
: March 26. The children ask what profession I – if I didn’t have the one that I happen to have – …