10/24 Back in Newburgh after a day that started with breakfast with Max at our hotel in Degerloch, then the funeral at 10. Into the city at 11.30, train to Frankfurt at 12.30, rented a room in the airport hotel for the minimum of three hours, even though I had only about one and a half. Didn’t actually sleep. Flight to JFK left at 5.15pm. Landed 7.30pm local time. Drove to Manhattan to pick something up from the apartment, then to Newburgh, arriving at about 11.

The funeral – I felt a deep sadness during the service. Not so much about this particular person being gone – yes, melancholy about that, also given the many beautiful details about his life that were recounted in the speech – but rather: that I can’t see how anyone like that is possible today.

As we stood in line waiting to pay our last respects at the grave, I had a vague idea of what I was going to think, to say to him, to myself when it was my turn. When I stood there, I couldn’t think anything at all but was overcome by a huge wave of emotion, something like – that sounds more technical than it should – a vortex out of, or beyond, or underneath reality.