May 21, Newburgh. Yesterday we went to a game shop that had just recently opened. People sitting on folding chairs who are as awkward as I am, playing Magic The Gathering. Someone has come to teach us Star Realms. I’m slow as usual and have to concentrate hard. Everyone is tremendously friendly. It’s only in the last few years, only through J that I’ve realized that I’m quite weird in my behavior and neuro-divergent to a not insignificant degree. Simultaneously I’m more reassured about myself than I have ever been. It’s not a bad thing that I am the way I am.

I’m almost consumed with worry that the summer vacations won’t happen. We have everything booked for thousands of dollars already, but I have to assume it could all still fall through, maybe even likely.

Advice to my younger self: Giving up custody just like that, thinking that if no one wants your involvement, then you’re not imposing it on anyone, was a huge mistake.