November 7. One possibility is that my teacher’s phrase drilled into me: if something is hard for you, it means you can’t do it. In music, it made me find an illegal side path, and in writing, the same: that I couldn’t actually do it, but would make an illegal side path for myself. It would never be enough to get around my guilty conscience, but it would lead to some stolen beautiful moments. What they call a sense of accomplishment. If you had once seen fate go into verse and not come back.