August 10. I lie awake from three o'clock, every night, reliably. Last night I found an improvisation site that looks promising. However, it is supposed to be crucial to sing the notes. Therein lies a problem, because I can’t sing.

Could I possibly learn to? I used to be at a loss when faced with this question. I was at the mercy of whatever random person happened to be around and gave their version of the answer. Today, I can find the sum of the entire world’s knowledge of it online. The ambiguity remains remarkably the same. If I were completely amusical, I wouldn’t be able to remember any pieces of music altogether. On the other hand, I find it really hard to hit a given note. I also don’t know if I am too high or too low. Such a brain structure with partial weaknesses and failures is completely within the realm of possibility. Science would simply raise its eyebrows and say: uh-huh. And what I can do about it, which parts of it are malleable and which are not, I can only find out by myself.