9/12 I should tell this gym story that has been disturbing me for months, simply because I don’t understand it. A guy, barely twenty, walks up to me as I stand in swim trunks in front of the locker. I respect the Speedo, he says in a serious voice, which, I guess, is quite a statement in a place where anything other than roomy boxer shorts is considered impossible for men. Thank you, I reply politely, and continue to get dressed. A minute later he asks me to tie the band of his boxer shorts for him. I don’t understand. He’s around twenty, he must know how to tie a knot. I say no, but he keeps insisting. So eventually I get up and tie the band for him. – As I keep thinking about this incident, I wonder if it was a weird ritual of dominance and submission that he tried to enact, to put me into my place for not conforming to the norms of masculinity.