November 6. Today in piano school the first broken chords in the left hand. This is what I have been missing the most in playing, and what I thought would be the most difficult to achieve. Now we’re simply starting with that.

Something must have gone very strangely and lastingly wrong with me that made me always think of myself as an illegitimate musician – that is, someone who can’t actually be a musician – and an illegitimate writer. What made me think that? After all, I didn’t feel that way about programming at all. I can hardly imagine that it was only because of that one sentence from my primary school teacher that I was completely unmusical. There was also no comparable event in writing. However, there was the experience that writing, no matter how hard I tried, didn’t work out at all, and I was obviously the most untalented person who had ever tried to write.