5/20 Northern horizon stays lit at midnight.

5/19 Liseberg. I had prepared myself to go on Helix, and then at a moment’s notice, because Helix was closed for a few minutes, my daughter suggested we’d do a quick Valkyria. I drowned in fear. It took me 10 minutes to muster the strength. But we did it, and we did Helix afterwards, and I’m really beginning to feel more excitement than fear, or a fear that is also pure excitement.

And yes, I am still taking a mild tranquilizer, but it looks like I can phase that out soon.

These coasters: As if a giant, invisible hand grabbed you, and not actually pushed you through the tracks, but carried you through space along arcs of which the steel tracks are only a material approximation.

5/18 We are overwhelmed by what is happening, even our awkwardness is overwhelmed by it.

5/17 Reflection moving across water surface, lighting it up to a bronze glistening within just a few seconds. How is such a macroscopic phenomenon possible on this planet without human intervention, or is it our flight that is the phenomenon?

5/16 Trees heavy with leaves, and those leaves heavy with rain during morning run.

Roughness of terminal area, similar to a ship harbor, improvisation and pity, compared to the aircraft you’re entering right outside of it. First time on an A380 tonight. We’re delayed by half an hour because the crew got stuck in a bus on their way to JFK, half an hour that could cost us the connecting flight in Munich, and in consequence, many of the precious hours with the kids.

5/15 Moved parts between laptops to make a functioning one for my daughter. Each of these laptops has changed possession and parts so many times by now. Flying to Sweden tomorrow.

5/14 Eye doctor, examining the progressive dying of my retina and the vanishing ability to contract my lens, calls me young.

5/13 There’s a faint little circle with a magic wand next to where I’m writing in this Google Doc. It offers to help me write. Also, a writer just recently lost access to a manuscript because Google considered its contents inappropriate. Also, some of the things I write here inevitably lead to related things showing up in my Google Feed. I say: Bring it on, just bring it on. Whatever it is, I just don’t want to go back.

5/12 These last few days the voluptuous, bulging green with which the hills are covered was as if mirrored by the heavy clouds above it, banks of dark grey that seemed too intense to not rain out, alternating with mysteriously glowing patches of white. 

5/11 Greater Newburgh Symphony Orchestra, Ravel, La Valse. Waltz that in some passages sounds as if through a noise-ridden, hollow-sounding radio in the Forties, twenty years after the piece was written. Very disturbed while listening, cp. the recent Apple ad.

Strauss, Four Last Songs. Semantics coded into an aria, very mysterious.

Brahms, Fourth Symphony. Wikipedia has nothing about its meaning, only pages of harmonic analysis, I like that.

A friend of J from San Diego is raising money so her students can go to a drone competition in Utah.