May 27. Trampoline, Magic, Mario Brothers Movie and Race, barbecue. Tried to set up Kindle account on my daughter’s iPhone.

May 26. Arrived. Exhilarated. Tired.

May 25. Sweden tonight. It’s our first direct flight, and I bid for an upgrade, which we won, so we get lie-flat seats in business class. If that gives us just two or three more hours of sleep and a little less jet lag with the kids, it was worth it.

May 24. The SRE of my most intense customer right now – the one I’m fighting with almost daily – has died overnight. Everybody’s in shock, all meetings are cancelled. I can’t help but feel there’s some deep lesson we have not learned if we’re in shock over that, and we’ve been caught off guard.

May 23. You won’t be able to find that in the history books of the future – but there won’t be history books anyway, only AIs which can answer any question based on the totality of all data that exists from a period of time – so in any case, let me record that almost nowhere the covid signs have disappeared, they are still up everywhere: keep your distance, maximum two people in the elevator, and so on. Nothing has changed, after all. The pandemic was never over, even if it was declared over by higher and higher authorities. It’s just that no one follows the signs anymore.

May 22. Now it does look like everything will work out with our vacation.

May 21, Newburgh. Yesterday we went to a game shop that had just recently opened. People sitting on folding chairs who are as awkward as I am, playing Magic The Gathering. Someone has come to teach us Star Realms. I’m slow as usual and have to concentrate hard. Everyone is tremendously friendly. It’s only in the last few years, only through J that I’ve realized that I’m quite weird in my behavior and neuro-divergent to a not insignificant degree. Simultaneously I’m more reassured about myself than I have ever been. It’s not a bad thing that I am the way I am.

I’m almost consumed with worry that the summer vacations won’t happen. We have everything booked for thousands of dollars already, but I have to assume it could all still fall through, maybe even likely.

Advice to my younger self: Giving up custody just like that, thinking that if no one wants your involvement, then you’re not imposing it on anyone, was a huge mistake.

May 20. Discussed self-tracking with the Stuttgart philosophers. Skepticism: that something, when associated with numbers, is compromised.

May 19. I am very worried that something about our vacations with the children will not work out, because we are completely dependent on the cooperation with the other parent and if that fails, there’s nothing we can do.

May 18. While dozens of cars drive around Columbus Circle, it is very quiet and you can hear the sound of tires rolling on the asphalt.