4/6 Flying back as Artemis passes behind the moon.

4/5 Gothenburg, Easter Egg Hunt, professionally organized by J with only a few hours’ notice. Heavy winds, so much that we seriously worry about the tall, still skeletal trees all around our house.

4/4 Gothenburg. It is always the Saturdays when shame and fear of not doing enough grip me the most. J helps me through, and so does a tranquilizer.

4/3 Gothenburg. We discuss whether humanity is making any progress at all, and emotions are flying high. – Position a) is that all the numbers are getting better all of the time, position b) is that as long as X happens, there cannot be any talk of progress at all. There are tears and we need a few minutes of calming down in separate rooms.

4/2 EWR – MUC – GOT. My ring says I slept 2 hours and 50 minutes, which would be quite extraordinary.

4/1 Watched the Artemis II launch together. Remembered the unreal brightness of the fire tail of a rocket, which we saw when we were at the Cape ourselves, and which you will never see in any footage of it. – We will go to Sweden and come back before these four in their tiny tin box reach the moon. 

3/31 J notices, quite unfailingly, that I’m in a pretty disoriented state. Yes, I say, now that you’re mentioning it, I actually do feel I could cry right away.

3/30 The black charging ports of our Jeeps used to be a sign of the future to me, but the sudden cancellation of the model has turned them into a curiosity, if not stupidity of the past. Of course, in a few years, there will be much better electric cars, and this episode of the Wrangler 4xe will be a small technical and political hiccup, barely noticeable when you zoom out. For now, from the perspective of a dashboard rubber duck, it does feel sad.

3/29 My signs are always a little too indirect. WE’LL VOTE HIM OUT IF HE LETS US – J likes that a lot, but you can’t really go to a protest with that.

3/28 No Kings in Newburgh. A few hundred people. Very different vibe than last time: sleepy. Whenever I join a chant I can’t hear if I’m the only one joining, nobody around me does. The most spectacular part are the cars driving by and honking. Also the long freight train, the driver of which blows its whistle and gives everybody the finger. A heckler walks back and forth among the protestors, waving an American and an Israeli flag and calls everyone weak and a traitor and other insults; organizers walk with him all the time and tell everybody not to engage, don’t give him what he wants.