February 22. Unreal long day. Got up at three forty-five in Gothenburg, fell asleep in New York at eleven at night.

February 21. My daughter wants to ride a roller coaster with me next summer, and she showed me the first-person video of it. The roller coaster is completely safe, of course, and I could just abandon myself to gravity, cheering. But I will have to gather all my courage to dare to do that, and I expect two minutes of gruesome agony.

February 20. Worst threat: when someone invades my territory and makes themselves at home in it. Maybe that’s why I’m so relieved, why I’m so determined to keep leaving the kids to their own devices for extended periods of time. I pace back and forth restlessly during those times.

The hurricane has returned, and tomorrow, again, all flights in Amsterdam are cancelled. I will spend the night here in Gothenburg at the airport. Irrespressibly looking forward to locking myself up in a hotel room.

February 19, Gothenburg. We have barely two days this weekend, but the days are full to the brim and stretching.

February 18, Schiphol. Got one of the two meds in the airport. The pharmacy exists exclusively to supply travelers with forgotten medications. And this goes completely smoothly and with dreamlike friendliness. The second med is not in stock, but I get a prescription for the four tablets, which is valid in Sweden.

But I can’t get to Sweden because of the hurricane. All flights are canceled. Huge queues at the rebooking counter. For me, the airline does everything by itself; I will fly tomorrow morning. Instinct of a frequent traveller: book a hotel nearby immediately, before everything overflows with stranded people.

Slept many hours in the afternoon; I’m still halfway in the other time zone. The airport is completely silent.

Been briefly – really briefly – outside the hotel. Could hardly keep myself on my feet.

February 17. On my way to Sweden. Forgot meds at home for the first time. I have half of what I need for the weekend with me, but I need four tablets each of both drugs. We’ll see how that goes. Sweden seems difficult, but Schiphol claims it is no problem at all.

February 16. I have taken five different medications in the last few days. For others, that would be little; for me, it’s a lot. Given the sheer number of biochemical processes going on in my body at any given moment, it seems little.

February 15. Final court hearing, child support.

February 14. We explicitly do not commit Valentine, we already celebrate every evening and morning.

February 13. My first truly American Super Bowl. For the first time, I can ask for all the rules and don’t have to try – unsuccessfully – to figure them out from Wikipedia with my laptop on my knees. We have chicken wings and currywurst.