December 9. Stumbled over the word self-publishing. How else could publishing work? Oh, I see: other-publishing, third-party-publishing, enterprise-publishing.

December 8. I have set my instagram account to private. It’s too much fun to experiment with clothing and fluid gender, and it’s too dangerous when it comes to my family situation. You could say that’s inconsistent and we should defend new territory no matter the cost. But the situation is highly complex and I don’t fully grasp the consequences.

December 7. Very smart. When I share a link to a post with unclear content, nobody has a particular incentive to actually read it. I need to do better here. Maybe share the first sentence: You know how you just need to run a small errand and then your legs don’t work?

December 6. Picked up J from the garage, rented an umbrella from Rentbrella for the way there. Every once in a while, you still come across an immensely practical startup.

December 5. For months I have hardly been able to focus on a book, but The Escape Artist by Jonathan Freedland I read, even though a familiar subject, in almost one sitting.

December 4. Uploaded the piano video after all. I shouldn’t worry so much about it. It is a log.

December 3. The orchestra plays Jingle Bells, and children are allowed on stage to conduct it. The children fall into several groups: Those who, under no circumstances, can be persuaded to let themselves be led to the center of the stage, to the conductor’s podium. Those who, having reached the podium, immediately want to go back to the side of the stage from which they came. Those who want to leave to the opposite side of the stage immediately. Those who linger on the podium for a moment without having any idea what they are supposed to do there. Those who, on the podium, move the hand with the sugar stick to the rhythm of the orchestra for a few seconds. The orchestra was instructed not to follow the children’s movements under any circumstances.

December 2. Worked from the hotel, and returned to Newburgh at noon. Rest of the on-call at J’s bamboo table.

December 1, King of Prussia. I am booked for two days on-site. I had asked if it really had to be on-site. After all, we don’t do anything in the cubicles other than look at the screens and be in the war room call. But these are the most important days of the year, with the biggest load on the servers, and last year they went badly wrong and the CEO now wants to do everything in his power, and that is why all hands should be on deck during the critical days. So I rented a car and booked a hotel and drove to King of Prussia. About halfway there, the database chief called me. He said they were infinitely embarrassed, but the CEO had decreed that you could work remotely, and if remote was allowed, surely no one would come into the company. - It’s unclear if that’s just for tonight, when the critical phase officially begins, or for tomorrow as well. But for now, here I am.

November 30. Recorded a piano video for the first time in a year. I’ve made great progress, but none of it has come through in my improvisations yet. I guess that’s not surprising either.

I promised myself: If it ever gets to the point where I can actually create something, by all means, get it out there. I’m not so sure anymore.